Is it real?

I was walking Cher the other day and on the way back, this lady with a toddler wanted to know if it was ok to let the kid near the dog. I said, sure!

So the kid is petting the dog and Cher is all happy and wagging her itty bitty tail, the mother is happy the dog's not mauling her kid after all, so she goes... "How sweet, is it real?"

Eh?

Did she just ask me if my dog was REAL?

Ah. No lady. This here is the latest Japanese Robodog, with real fur from a real dog (who was merely shaved not skinned for his fur mind you), and has a super computer inside that will make it do everything real dogs do, even poo.

Jesus Frickin Christ.

Do not litter

So all the maid had to do was hand the 5kg bag of icky litter, I had kept under the sink to be disposed off, to the garbage man and be done with it. I have no clue why she slung it over the railing, into the lil' flower beds below our staircase.

So I'm walking down the stairs and as I near the flower bed I can oh my gawd! smell the smell from hell. Good grief, it's IN my nostrils methinks, I can smell it everyfuckingwhere now? That's when I spotted the ruptured bag of litter and its spilled contents all over the lil' lawn. Eh.

So I stand there for a few minutes even though I'm running late for office, debating with myself on what should I do: info the society's secretary and request a clean-up, ignore it, clean it up myself, ignore it, make the maid clean it up, ignore it. It's no great mystery... I ignored it. I'm not proud of myself, but I wasn't feeling too guilty either. A topic for deeper analysis perhaps, but one that I don't have the time for.

So I come home from work and I'm passing the lil' lawn now, looking for the mess... and its somehow gone... the ruptured bag had been removed, and the litter had been spread out in an oddly orderly fashion... as if it was okay... as if it was meant to be... as if it was fertilizer.

So I concluded, as I chuckled to me self all the way up the stairs, that the gardener prolly thought it was some awesome form of fertilizer and distributed it nicely all over the flower beds so the plants can suck in the goodness of Snow's pee.

Hee.

What's that smell

I have been plagued by the stink of Snow's piss as I wake up every morning and go to bed every night for the past few months. Partly due to the fact that the lil' bugger insists of pissing everyfuckingwhere and partly due to the fact that his litter box is in my bathroom and no matter how much I keep it clean, it insists on stinking.

Sunday, when I woke up yet again to the deadly stench of cat piss, I vowed to take the entire mess out, wash, scrub the box with scalding hot water and detergent, add fresh litter, deodorizer and then dare the heavens to ever tease my abused nostrils with the foulness again.

On that mind numbingly cold morning, I dragged my reluctant self from my warm bed, dug around in the closet for a pair of shorts, discarded my furry socks and donned icy rubber slippers and proceed to deliver on my vow.

Two hours later, we had a squeaky clean litter box. Snow was aghast at my ferocious attack on his throne of excreta and kept mewling unhappily just outside the bathroom door. When I placed the dry box back in the loo and went to get fresh litter, he promptly jumped in it and settled down as if if he didn't I would make it my own and start pissing in it. Bhondu.

I went to bed last night, woke up this morning... ahhhh! so this is what it smells like in other households. It's wonderful!