Purplexia

Teenagers

2011-09-17T09:13:00.005+05:30

Know what I realized just this morning? That there is one feeling (is it a feeling?) that perpetuates my every waking moment... ok, maybe not every moment, but like 90% of the time. I'm perpetually annoyed. Everything annoys me, waking up annoys me, doing almost anything annoys me, not able to do something annoys the hell outta me, forgetting things annoys me, people annoy me but here's the kicker... Kids on Facebook (who are especially related to you!) annoys me the most these days!

Ok. Seriously. Who gave permission to these kids to have FB accounts? No. Seriously. Especially since their parents are NOT monitoring the incredible trash these kids post. And ok, now really really seriously... who the fuck do these kids think they are, typing complete and utter gibberish that only horny monkeys can understand (celibate monkeys use sign language... I swear) when they shorten every damned word till its unrecognizable (takes you a few minutes to fill in the missing letters and/or unravel switched letters) and assume they have the right and the godfucking authority to pass the most juvenile and actually just incredibly lame comments!?!?

I get it, you are a teenager and you have disdain for just about everything and because you are a teenager you also have giant egos that allows you to assume you are smarter than all the adult population put together and go about making complete asswipes of yourselves simply by opening your mouths. But you are not smarter, cause if you were you would know how to at least SPELL simple words cause admittedly anything longer than 6 letters is Greek to you! And NO! you are not clever either! I know you think you are, and you might even be to your fellow dimwitted teenagers but to the rest of the world you are the exact opposite of whats clever and funny, which is boring and annoying. For fucks sake you like Shin Chan!! And you are not even having a real discussion with each other- tremendous name calling, abusing, narcissistic delusions about how loveable you are, egotistic delusions about how wise you are, your role models are Hanna Montana and Michael Jackson. Jesus fucking Christ!

It's embarrassing as hell when these asinine comments show up in your news feed, not to mention ANNOYS THE EVER LOVING CRAP outta me. And you can't have a normal conversation with them, cause they don't want to talk or listen to you, they want you to listen to THEM go on and on about nothing really, their heads are filled with vapid vacuum... I'd rather talk to a tree and feel like I really connected with someone instead of just wanting to slap them silly.

What's really annoying is that these boogers will grow up eventually and still be just as lame and stupid with nary a credible thought or concern and... they will go forth and procreate.

I shudder.

Groupie

2010-03-15T02:37:00.001+05:30

I have started to read again. On the lappy. Last week I downloaded nearly 400 books from various sites, free and "otherwise". Some nights I will give watching a movie a miss and prefer to read, although reading on the lappy isn't such a great experience. But I prefer it to the discomfort of buying books; they cost paper and once you read a book and say it didn't really appeal to you it's stuck with you till you manage to get rid of it by lending or selling it to kabadiwala. I like the option of reading- didn't like it? Delete it! Plus paper books are not portable, they need lights on at nights, storing them is a giant issue and you cannot adjust font-size.

Recently I discovered a free stories website, of the adult kinds. :P Heh. Heh. I have been overdosing on it but obviously. I have no shame in admitting that I read most "romance" novels for the adult content in it. Hee. Of course I'm interested in plot and character development but hey my life has enough plots and sub-plots to deal with and my character is by now well-done. I want to read of things that isn't... well a daily occurrence of my life. Sad as that is. But goody I found this baby eh. Isn't internet the best? Here there are like a zillion stories, short stories and novels, and you can read from like 20 categories and if you didn't like it... click for another one! You are not forced to read through the entire book hoping to hit upon a story that is your secret fantasy only cause you paid for 300 pages of boring melodramatic ass wipes.

Last week I read this story, which just had Chapter One, and was about a man who is forced to act out his revenge on a woman. Most stories of these kinds are whacked. Not kidding. He's a big strong male, who wants this weak yet blindingly beautiful woman who doesn't know she is blinding people randomly or knows and is hoity-toity about it and so it falls up on our big strong brute to teach her a lesson and as a bonus she inadvertently likes his brutish-ways and encourages him to be more of a jerk to keep the story going.

But this one. My Gawd. This was a wowser. This guy is... reluctant. Really. And he isn't a jerk. The female doesn't know that initially but the way the writer paints the scenes, how its all drawn out, each detail so maddeningly delicious, how he questions his very motive and how he doesn't want to hurt her. *sigh* Yeah. Yeah. I know it's only possible in fantasies but man... wow. It's a tough subject. How do you separate the negative issues like revenge and highlight the positive points like how he doesn't want to scare her or scar her. When the reader starts to empathize with the anti-hero... *applause*, Dear Writer you have won my heart.

So.

I was so happy to be reading this and sad as heck that it was only Chapter One that I wrote to the writer. Fan mail. Ha. I got her (I think it's a her) response back and wrote back and got another response back today. Hee. It's so exciting to be able to communicate with a person who touched upon such a sensitive subject with such understanding. To be able to tell her that Hey! THIS is what appeals to me. THIS is the man that lives in my head. You brought him to life. Thank you *tearful gushing*.

I am begging her to write more. And she has such a wit about her. We were discussing how writers of this genre tend to make the stories exceptionally crude and contrived just to get off on it and do not pay enough attention to the build-up, the sexual tension, letting the readers identify on some levels with the characters.

I'm a groupie. Ha!

Alls well... if it ends well.

2010-03-05T12:40:00.000+05:30

I had been avoiding putting a perspective on what happened with NishuDi and me. Majorly so, cause the entire incident has made me feel that I'm utterly idealistic and naive... and not in a complimentary way.

I had wanted so badly to make things right, to change lives as they show in movies. That is perhaps what my problem entirely is. I want happy endings. There are none in life. Just happy moments and then it passes and then you have just... moments. Sad, uncomfortable, bitter, frustrated, lonely... these moments you have to wade through till you get to another happy moment. The wading through parts sucks ass.

After countless threats, abuses, sleepless nights, long lectures, scoldings, advices, anger, helplessness, fear... I had to make peace with the fact that people will do exactly as the please. Their consideration for you will only extend to the point that is comfortable for them. And sometimes not even till there. It doesn't matter that they are family. Or perhaps it is cause they are family. Perhaps being family allows people to hurt you in ways that strangers wouldn't.

My emotions have bounced around like a yo-yo this past half year. From an avenger and savior to a control-freak who is difficult to live with. Not that I am surprised. I already knew that about me, I advertise it enough. But it hurts a bitty when it comes from a person you literally laid your life, your sanity on the line for. And like all epic movies, it wouldn't have been complete without the well-meaning interference of God himself. Ha.

Anyhoos. Alls well that ends well. Right? I wish NishuDi and the kids well. I am over my anger and pain, enough anyways to still laugh about the good parts. This is a major "grown-up" moment for me! I normally do not forgive. I never forget. But I am happy that she is becoming more independent, more self-reliant. She needs to cause this entire fiasco should not end up being one, but should be life-altering, give meaning and make things better for their lives. I want the kids to grow up knowing that someone cared enough to get up and take action, made some of the abuse stop, fought for the right the good things.

Haze did clear her finals. She scored first division, her report card riddled with A and B +'s. I'm happy and proud. I want her to succeed and prove to the world that if you fight hard enough you can make it. She is on her way now. I hope she stays strong.

I hope they all stay strong.

Is it real?

2010-01-16T23:36:00.000+05:30

I was walking Cher the other day and on the way back, this lady with a toddler wanted to know if it was ok to let the kid near the dog. I said, sure!

So the kid is petting the dog and Cher is all happy and wagging her itty bitty tail, the mother is happy the dog's not mauling her kid after all, so she goes... "How sweet, is it real?"

Eh?

Did she just ask me if my dog was REAL?

Ah. No lady. This here is the latest Japanese Robodog, with real fur from a real dog (who was merely shaved not skinned for his fur mind you), and has a super computer inside that will make it do everything real dogs do, even poo.

Jesus Frickin Christ.

Do not litter

2010-01-14T14:14:00.000+05:30

So all the maid had to do was hand the 5kg bag of icky litter, I had kept under the sink to be disposed off, to the garbage man and be done with it. I have no clue why she slung it over the railing, into the lil' flower beds below our staircase.

So I'm walking down the stairs and as I near the flower bed I can oh my gawd! smell the smell from hell. Good grief, it's IN my nostrils methinks, I can smell it everyfuckingwhere now? That's when I spotted the ruptured bag of litter and its spilled contents all over the lil' lawn. Eh.

So I stand there for a few minutes even though I'm running late for office, debating with myself on what should I do: info the society's secretary and request a clean-up, ignore it, clean it up myself, ignore it, make the maid clean it up, ignore it. It's no great mystery... I ignored it. I'm not proud of myself, but I wasn't feeling too guilty either. A topic for deeper analysis perhaps, but one that I don't have the time for.

So I come home from work and I'm passing the lil' lawn now, looking for the mess... and its somehow gone... the ruptured bag had been removed, and the litter had been spread out in an oddly orderly fashion... as if it was okay... as if it was meant to be... as if it was fertilizer.

So I concluded, as I chuckled to me self all the way up the stairs, that the gardener prolly thought it was some awesome form of fertilizer and distributed it nicely all over the flower beds so the plants can suck in the goodness of Snow's pee.

Hee.

What's that smell

2010-01-11T17:33:00.000+05:30

I have been plagued by the stink of Snow's piss as I wake up every morning and go to bed every night for the past few months. Partly due to the fact that the lil' bugger insists of pissing everyfuckingwhere and partly due to the fact that his litter box is in my bathroom and no matter how much I keep it clean, it insists on stinking.

Sunday, when I woke up yet again to the deadly stench of cat piss, I vowed to take the entire mess out, wash, scrub the box with scalding hot water and detergent, add fresh litter, deodorizer and then dare the heavens to ever tease my abused nostrils with the foulness again.

On that mind numbingly cold morning, I dragged my reluctant self from my warm bed, dug around in the closet for a pair of shorts, discarded my furry socks and donned icy rubber slippers and proceed to deliver on my vow.

Two hours later, we had a squeaky clean litter box. Snow was aghast at my ferocious attack on his throne of excreta and kept mewling unhappily just outside the bathroom door. When I placed the dry box back in the loo and went to get fresh litter, he promptly jumped in it and settled down as if if he didn't I would make it my own and start pissing in it. Bhondu.

I went to bed last night, woke up this morning... ahhhh! so this is what it smells like in other households. It's wonderful!

Gotta have faith, faith, faith-AH!

2009-07-28T15:17:00.007+05:30

Imagination is evil. Apparently.

Boggles my mind the way just about everything threatens the Christian way of life. Few that I have had the misfortune of being educated on : laughing Buddha's, people of other faith praying in your home and refusing to sleep in the room they pray in, eating "prasad". And Harry Potter. That skinny kid on the flying broom is evil. Harry Potter books and movies have been banned, with the blessing of the good Pope, in many regions, schools and households.

Why?

Well according to the religious figure who currently "leads" a local prayer group that NiDidi frequents, Potter promotes an unhealthy interest in witchcraft and magic, leading to... ready for this?... imagination in children. Imagination is evil. Children cannot be allowed to imagine cause imagination leads them to believe that fantasy and whimsical meanderings will ultimately bring them to the burning door of hell. Children need to be educated on practicalities of life. Yes. Agreed. But what defines practical? Is flying in a metal tube thousands of miles high up in the sky practical? Wasn't it just a few centuries ago that people believed the world to be flat and sneered upon anyone who wondered otherwise? Is Mickey Mouse practical? Why isn't Alice in Wonderland banned? Are talking dancing animals an acceptable form of imagination? Why the heck hasn't the good Pope banned Disney? Why hasn't he burned the Sistine Chapel to the ground? What practical proof does anyone have that Michael Angelo really did witness the figures in reality that he painted on the ceiling? Are all the painted, sketched depictions of Jesus authentic cause he never looks the same in two pictures together!? Or are they valid ONLY cause they depict Jesus and Genesis and since it deals with *ahem* God, it is A-Ok.

Is Christianity such a flimsy faith that, the mere imagination of one woman who planted a bespectacled kid on a broom and lets him whip out potions and other magical thingies, threatens a belief system spanning centuries? Yet they contest that Santa is a saint albeit commercialised as a fat man in a ridiculous red suit. Eh.

What scares me is that NiDidi apparently swallows this tripe down whole just cause its spewed from the mouth of someone who is religious, attends retreats, is blessed with the Holy Spirit, can see visions, yada yada yada, and oi yeah, is practical in life as well, so dognammit it MUST be true! Why would she be wrong? Let's not try and question it, or rationalise the statement and come to a conclusion ourselves, lets just take it whole and shove it down our throats cause the Pope himself banned it and religious magazines have published it all over the holy world. It has to be true, cause anything else would mean that hey! I can think for myself and since anything that involves thinking independently is evil as well. I am but a lowly sheep. And sheep do not think, sheep do not imagine, sheep bleat and follow wherever the good Shepperd and his border collie lead them.

Meh.

What saddens me is that this ugly tripe is being fed to Haze as well. She is being told that to have a mind that can explore the possibilities of thought, that does not exist in the living world as we know it, is wrong. If the mind cannot be allowed to explore and create a world that defies logic then Christians should not fly planes, let them walk on water and travel instead. Let us burn our brushes and never paint again, let us burn our books and never seek to understand a poem again, let us never watch movies, let us burn the Taj Mahal cause how dare anyone ever build a monument that was but an imagination prior to laying down the first marble. Why can't we try harder to educate our children to understand which parts of magic or witches are evil, the parts namely that are selfish, or teach them what sets reality apart from fantasy, which parts of whimsy should be encouraged and which parts discouraged. But oh no! that would mean discussions, rationalisations and *gasp* parenting! It's easier to kneel down and pray of course.

And then they wonder why this very faith bothers me so much. They get the answers in their visions of course, so they need not ever discuss it with me. To be so insecure and narrow minded, I pass. Cheerfully I imagine myself walking down the brick road, paved brilliantly yellow all the way to the burning gates of hell.

Apologies to Jesus in my boat, don't spank me yet. Bleat.

Stinks

2009-03-24T10:18:00.005+05:30

Real men stink. NO matter what, they stink. And it's not really their fault, or ours. It's the books. Books stink. And movies. Movies stink. They fill your head with unrealistic expectations about relationships and men and love that of course when reality checks-in, it stinks. They never live up to this man in your head, this being you have fed and fattened up with fantasies you borrowed and stole from stinking books. They never really know you, even when you explicitly spell it our for them, they just never get you. Cause, they don't read these books and watch these movies that stink, that fills their head with stinking goo, that makes them sigh at odd intervals, that makes them stare off into the distance unfocused on a whimsical thought, that makes them look at you with this small soft half smile. You can practically give them an instructional manual with bulleted steps on how you want to be treated, what you want to hear, when it's time for a comforting back-rub, how you want them to hug you close, why they need to kiss you often and they will still never get any of right. They will huff and puff and blow you away. Men stink.

Howling

2009-03-23T15:05:00.009+05:30

Um no, this is not about vampires. This is about a dog who thinks... um no, she doesn't think she's a vampire either. This is about a dog who thinks... ready for this? Thinks she is pregnant. Yikes!

Ok, not the first occurrence for me, Sweetie used to think that too from time to time. But maybe a first occurrence for Cher. If all the whining, scraping and howling is any indication. The howling especially is a bitty funny, cause she howls when:

The Phone rings
Any song with whoo-whoos in it
Snow yowls
I yawn loudly

I always burst out laughing when she looks up all surprised at the noise and starts howling with gusto. I have to then quickly answer the phone, switch songs, shut Snow up and cut myself in mid-yawn. The better aspects are, a lotta snuggling and a lotta smoochies.

When she gets rather antsy, I always try to soothe her with belly-rubs and I love the way she presses herself close, lays her head down and sighs. At peace.

Reading. Finally!

2009-03-19T08:12:00.008+05:30

As it would seem, the movie influenced me enough to want to read the books it was adapted from. Movies inspired by books always make me want to read the book, cause I know the book has got to be a zillion times better, only because you cannot cram 300-500 pages worth of any subject matter into 2 hours of a movie. Certain elements of the movie the viewer takes for granted and cannot entirely focus on, these elements in the book are exactly what sets the mood, the tone, the dept of what the subject matter is.

Sooo, I *ahem* "got" a copy of the ebook of all 4 novels, including the 5th unfinished one, narrated from the vampires point of view. Unfinished cause apparently some chapters from the manuscript got leaked. I have started on 1st, and it was like... succumbing in to an addiction you had somehow inadvertantly given up on. I don't know... no ok... I DO know precisely when and why I had pulled back from reading, from being perpetually greedy, voraciously hungry for the printed words into... well into this self-afflicted reading-fast of sorts.

I opened the file with this barely controlled anticipation and as I read the first few sentences of first chapter, I felt a satiation unlike... well almost unlike *snicker*... I have ever felt. As if the words I consumed were these incredibly delish morsels of the sweetest treat. Infinitely satisfying and yet left me craving for more. Much more. I couldn't stop. Cannot stop. Read through the night, which was not all that comfortable, cause reading on the laptop is well... awkward. And I miss the feel of a book in my hands, the scent of paper and ink and the comforting mustiness books have, earthy and warm. I missed how my fingers had to scroll instead of flip over a page. Still, I was reading.

And the story definitely is engaging, as I knew it would be. More taut, more detailed, more intense... *sigh*

Twilight

2009-03-16T23:13:00.003+05:30

Can't believe I'm posting this. But ok so, I know it's a bitty of more than silliness the movie Twilight. I mean c'mon its scoffing at all the vampire legends and sparkly diamond dust in sunlight, that's really just lame... and school girl-childish. And where are the fangs godnammit? The fangs are the whole reason some of us watch these movies, the fangs are IT. No fangs and its just a bitty about men grimacing at each other! We need the biting, ok please just indulge us.

But in spite and despite and out of spite all that, the movie was just somehow... sexy. All that taut sexual tension, all the nibbly chaste kisses, the leashed longing looks... *sigh*... gimme more baby. It's not even the movie, for me, but the idea of a love for a monster, a monster who wishes to not be one. Maybe it's not me, there are *sigh* definitely tons others who find this fascinating. We can't, I can't, resist. A man, for all intents and purposes, evil and yet goes out of his nature to not be, to be instead the exact opposite, barely controls his base instinct to wreak havoc, all because he wishes not to lose the fragile trust given to him by a girl. Delish. Of course he's s.e.x.y with lips that beg to be suckled on, hair that invite your fingers to run through, smoky eyes you can drown in and he is all tall and dark and brooding, yet wickedly endearing... once you get to know him.

ITS THE BOOKS!!! All these fanciful notions about loving monster and men who swoop in to save you from dark lonely nights has completely and utterly fucked our, MY brain!! And just so there is no confusion or name calling in the end, I'm talking specifically and ONLY about vampires, not your common store-bought villains, cause they are not sexy and the only thing I want to run through them is perhaps a rabid dog.

Vampires are always hot and strangely good looking, even the evil-evil ones don't look any different than the evil-good ones, they all look sexy. And they are always well dressed, as if once they turn blood-thirsty they also incidentally acquire exceptionally good taste in clothes and hair style... and oh yeah, they all look FIT. Chiseled. Ripped. Yummy. They speak rather well, never boorish. Have curiously adequate etiquette, never faff about like buffoons, no sir. Such fine dapper examples of villainy... *sigh* if only the human men could attain these qualities without the bloody bits.

Can't, still, resist.
Can't wait for the sequel. Gimme more baby.

Since we are on the screaming

2009-03-12T22:50:00.000+05:30

Ok, you know how when you are listening to John Mayer sing his speshul songs, where he has this incredible guitar playing, no I don't know the technical terms, in the middle of it and you are just being carried away in a half swoon and half wonder at how beautiful it all sounds and how much you wish to just, to please oh please just LISTEN to it withOUT the mindless, fanatical, hysterical SCREAMING of all the teenage girls in the background? Yeah. Can't stand that one bitty. Why? Why? WHY the screaming? I get it, you are wrought with emotion and perchance arousal as well and by screaming like mindless fucks you think Mayer will spot you orgasming shamelessly in the midst of 1000 other orgasming mindless fucks. Really. Right. The rest of us mindful fucks really just wish to listen minus the screaming, just wish to enjoy if we can the speshulness of his voice, his words, the guitar oh dear sweet lord the strumming fingers and thats it. Thank you very much. Goodnight and Godbless America.

Uff!

2009-03-10T14:47:00.000+05:30

If I'd known that GAIL was infested with ill-mannered, ill-tempered, ill-bred kids, I'd have rented a room under the train tracks and bathed every morning with the hobos... or not (since I'm assuming hobos don't have access to water to drink much less bathe!). Well, anyhoo, the blimey kids are pawns of the devil, I kid you not, meant solely to make any moment I wish to spend at home in peace... well not peaceful. They howl, screech, shout, scream, wail, cry, yell at the top of their cursed lungs, making me wish I was deaf. I swear. There is this one particular brat, who relishes his playtime by ONLY calling out the name of another boy, Ishu, in varied tones ranging from hoarse screeches to high-pitched wailing. Then there are the assorted shrieks of all the girls aged under 5, which could mean anything from spotting a bug on a leaf to a random boy who strolled into their midst. I especially cringe when I have to take Cher for a walk, the stinking runts spot her from way off and come running in hoards screaming, CUTE WALA DOGGIE AAGAYA! Why? Why? WHY scream? I get it you are all excited and I understand as kids your brains are not yet developed enough to know that hearing is not subjective to higher decibles and a LOT of adults can hear a normal tone just plain dandy-fine, and the sight of a cute pup, and MY GAWD is Cher a cute-break-your-heart-pup, will send you into a mindless frenzy, but really the screaming, it's unnatural I think and it really should be illegal!! Did I mention all the pubescent boys playing basketball pretending to be THE dudes... ah... sorry kiddos, you plain suck, at basketball and at attaining puberty. And, oh! the language! It's DESPICABLE. They talk worse than adults, their dialogs peppered with abbe, oye, saale, chal na, ja na, maar doonga, chup be... it's shocking! Where in the heck are their parents? Do they even know what pests their kids are? Do they care? Of course not, cause if they did I would not be writing this damned post to begin with.

Doofus

2009-02-20T22:18:00.002+05:30

The fridge is on the blink for 2 weeks now. The freezer works fine, or TOO fine as the case is, but the lower segment does not cool. The repair guys came and dismantled the lot of it 2 days back and well now it does nothing except look all exposed and sad.

So.... I bought Ice Cream tonight, my first for Summer and I was all excited that I'll have a leisure slurp session after dinner while watching Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

Hmmm.

No sir. I had to eat ALL FUCKING FOUR of them as soon as I got home cause I realized the damn fridge DOES NOT FUCKING WORK.

Grrrr.

It was NOT fun, cause now I'm OLD and I cannot hog down 4 cones at one go. So fucking mad.

Angel

2009-02-17T14:34:00.001+05:30

Why do I run after you like I do I love you
Whatever you are I swear
You'll be my angel
You

When you're gone...

The "when you are gone..." undoes me completely.

John Mayer has the most sexiest voice when he gets all low and heavy...
a tad off-key but just oh! so brutally pretty.

Saturday

2009-01-31T20:42:00.001+05:30

Woke up this morning to find Cher snuggled on top of my tummy, over the blankie, snoring. It was just such a silly noise, as if she had laboured the previous day stacking bricks on a wall under the hot sun, instead of sleeping and sleeping and sleeping some more and oh yeah some more sleeping.

Snow doesn't snore as much as he grunts and groans, at times making the most hideous racket in the night forcing me to get up and shush him! The worst is when he needs to go potty at night, he'll completely FLIP, and I do mean F.L.I.P, out. Bouncing and jumping at anything and everything, yowling and howling like a freakzoid, at times scaring the crap outta me. He'll go potty then, stinking up the whole country, and like a deflated balloon afterwards will collapse at the nearest cozy spot and fall asleep.

This morning he discovered the strangest thing he never had encountered before. ANOTHER CAT!!! His eyes practically popped outta his lil skull in amazement when he spotted this gray stray jumping window sills outside our balcony. His expression was "WHA? WHAT? What IS that? Looks a lot like me!" His lil head cocked to an angle, his eyes WIDE open he stared at the cat in pure and utter fascination as if to say, Woo, I never knew there were more of me out there! I was practically rolling on the ground laughing my ass off at his expression. The stray jumped off the ledge and disappeared from our view and Snow flipped completely out, he scrambled off his perch on the chair and went racing this way and that, not really knowing which way to go, making lil mewling guttural sounds, frustrated beyond belief.

Sad and dejected he finally moaned about a bit and settled back on his perch looking out at the spot where the stray had sat, hoping he/she will come back I presume. He looked ever so cute, with his lonely depressed face, blinking slowly at the world outside.

Cher and I went back to bed, me back to my crochet and she back to snoring.

Boom Box!

2009-01-22T18:51:00.003+05:30

Listening to my iPod on my NEW Boom Box! YaY!

Been wanting to try it ever since I got it on my last visit to US but I didn't want to fry the thingy by plugging it in without finding out if it will work on our voltage. I finally got the lil puppy out this morning and asked Roomie if I needed to get a converter for it. No siree, all I had to do was plug it in with a flat to round pin plug connector and TA-DA! Muuuuuuzac!

La-dee-da-da-da... So happy!

P.S. It has this tiny sweet lil remote. Which I'm pretty sure I'll lose before the week is out! :P

Vacation

2009-01-06T00:12:00.000+05:30

Couldn't sleep on the train to Dharwad. Why? Roaches. Crawling ALL fucking over. I tried to stuff the gaps on the sides of my berth with the bedsheet, still the cretins gaily scampered about, on the curtains, over my eyelids, behind my head, over my toes... Fuckity FUCK hated it!

Actually ate 3 full meals for 2 weeks. So happy. Ate idlis, biryani, interesting variations of paneer, fried rava fish, homemade chicken tikka (yes... me... non-veg... just one piece... couldn't resist!), fresh fruits, chirtsmas goodies, khara puri, poli, mysore vada. So happy. No, didn't gain much weight though.

Trippy to Dandeli was fanfuckingtastic. Moi got in the natural jacuzzi, way up to my knees! My lovely knees loved it. Hot searing sun, icy cold water. An awesome way to feel alive, get all your senses perked up and happy. River Kali interestingly tasted really sweet. Wasn't too smart though, drinking untreated water from a raw source, but it tasted soooo sweet. Food at the resort was delish. Not kidding. It was DELISH!

Chaddi paddi phaddi! TeeHee. I don't know why but I love saying that. Thank you Krys! She has dramatically changed since the last time I visited Dharwad. Happier, better behaved, smiled often, talkitive as heck, inquisitive and curious about every damn thing, wanting to always PLAY. Loved her lil games; Shopkeeper, Office-Office, School, shapes she could make out of her kerchief, objects she imagined the stones to be. And, yes, the khadoos in me did get tired of playing soon enough, so no drastic change there.

Chikoo that tasted sweet as sin, more especially so cause we plucked it straight off the tree in the backyard. Was fun trying to figure out how to pluck the fat buggers high up with just a pole and crude versions of bags and baskets hooked to its end.

GRILLS! The houses there have the most facinating grill work I have ever seen. Except maybe what I saw in Pondicherry. Deers, musical instruments, dancing figurines, hearts, apples, flowers, swans. Art. Lovely.

Bought a sexy red sari with black embriodery. And I mean S.E.X.Y. Cannot wait to wear it.

Late night confessions, dreams and hopes, back-bitting and venting, laughing and whispering. Watching silly movies with headphones on. Scouting for grills on Scooty. Getting dressed up for Christmas. Ragging bro. Thankful that I rediscovered Shar.

Sitting in the courtyard, back towards the sun, wrapped in my fav shawlie, John Mayers in my ear, crocheting. Pure and unadulerated bliss.

Ended all too soon.

Slippery When Wet

2008-12-10T11:36:00.000+05:30

Trip to Chicago was... trippy. Hee.

Saw snow, my first ever. Was awesome, magical, a lil icky cause snow melts and well... it turns every goddamn thing damp. Hair, shoes, coat. I hate damp. But when it's floating down from heavens above, it's truly magical. Loved it. Loved the cold, how it would grip your knees and render them completely numb, so that as you exit the car and walk towards the building door, the 5 minutes it takes you to make that walk, you are not too sure if you really are walking cause you cannot feel your knees, your feet. They are these stumps, in lovely tan boots, somehow clacking on the concrete, a lil ungainly, yet still somehow walking. Hee.

The ungaingly act didn't last too long though. I prestiged into a fine display of surprise tap dancing on ice, a lil bitty of skidding, a tad bitty of flailing arms, a WHOA! of alarm... crash... on numb knees. Hmmm. Numb has a quality of still registering incredibly acute pain. Not fun. No sir.

Well, anyways, the paramedics arrived like in 15 seconds flat, cut open my stockings and exposed my skinny UNSHAVED leg to all and sundry. GAH! To top it off, the Dood was hunky and rather good-looking. *sigh* Even with tears rolling down my embaraased cheeks, trying to answer his calculated questions on how I would rate the pain on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst I ever expreienced, all I could think of was... my leg is covered in a week old fuzz... waaaaaah!! And I wish I had worn the new socks and not this 106 year old rag handed down from the elves of Darnation!!!

Lovely NEW boots, ruined. Lovely striped black suit, ruined. My makeup was intact, thank god for smudgeproof eyeliner (cruelty and paraben-free, of course!).

Trip back home to India, through various security points in the airport, all the WALKING, sitting, loo visits were an interesting lesson in appreciating on how much you actually should look after and thank these 2 knees you have. Love you knees!!

Winter Loot!

2008-11-14T11:41:00.010+05:30

TA-DA! I'm finally done with the sweaters! I'm so excited, cannot wait to wear them this winter.

Cotton Candy Waves

I made this last winters. Well the body and sleeves, but wasn't able to sew the seams cause every time I tried the sweater looked really misshapen and boxy. I was quite disappointed, cause I loved the pattern and it wasn't that hard to follow the instructions and make alterations. The original pattern was a cardigan, but I wanted a sweater so I modified. It wasn't rocket science tho, for which I'm thankful. And I really wanted to wear it with this lovely cola colored skirt and black boots. So this time I tried a different technique to sew the sems up and well... it still looks boxy but what the hey, I'm gonna wear it anyways. I made it and I love it.

The aggravating thing about crocheting sweaters is that you have to crochet everything in twos. It drives me nuts cause by the time I'm done doing the front body or one sleeve, I DO NOT want to do it all over again for the back or the other sleeve. I tend to lose all patience and just want the thing to be DONE so I can wear it. I have quite a few front bodies of sweaters all waiting for their backs or sleeves. :P

Sooooooooo... to that effect I hunted and hunted and reasearched like mad to find out a way or pattern that will cut down on the crochet time, I do not have to deal with front/back, fixing sleeves (which is a killer) and the entire thing should FIT. And guess what? Weeeeeeeeeee! I found this brilliant method that allows you to check the fitting AS you crochet.

The Top-Down Raglan style sweater is easy as peasy, you start with the neck and crochet the yoke in either a square or in rounds. The body and sleeves follow the same system and man was it fun. I made the next puppy in 4.5 days flat!! And I checked the fitting as I went. Which doesn't mean that I didn't screw up here and there, one sleeve is tighter than the other, there are a few missed stiches, the body is a tad bitty more tighter than I wanted it be and I fudged the yoke a bit so the top part sits a bitty skewed when I wear it.

But, all in all I'm verra pleased! This was a good exercise and I plan to make and experiment more!

Food Frankenstein

2008-11-06T21:11:00.006+05:30

In a bid to eat more healthy I usually try and "cheat" myself by combining few vegetables with other ingredients making a dish/item that is indeed more palatable to me. And I do think I'm mighty clever to be doing that... *pats back*!

The most common and easiest way is to steam/boil the icky offender, puree it and then knead it with flour to make interesting looking and tasting roti's. For example my fav. is spinach, I buy like hordes of that stuff, steam/boil then puree it and mix it up with wheat flour to make phulkas or puri's. Love the greeeeeeeeen color, makes it look so much more interesting than regular plain-jane phulkas! Also, lately I have been experimenting with radish, fenugreek, and BEETS!

Man, I luuurrrvvvveee the beets roti's, the awesomely lovely red color just looks absolutely gorgeous. I remeber as a kid chomping on my crayolas, trying to see if the colors had a distinct taste (of course they didn't and tasted vile btw!) and always chomped harder on the Red ones cause I especially fancied them. The beets Puri with Milk (my fav puri combo!) almost come close!

I can now also eat eggplant and peas by adding them to Vegetable Pilafs or with Paneer. Actually truth be told I'll eat anything with Paneer, so I normally will add the ickyness with a Paneer dish and just gobble the whole thing up. I wish I had this much sense as a kid... oh well.

I have found another awesomely awesome way to avoid heartburn, tummyburn, and well... next morning pottyburn... *snicker* not too much anyways! I buy green chillies, the small incredibly theeki ones, dry them in the sun till they turn crackalicious, then grind them up either really fine or with bitty flakes on. I use this instead of Red Chilli powder in all my curries and cooking and man... it tastes, smells wonderful. Love the green chilly sun-dried scent. The only downside is (not health-wise) that the dish does not have that yummy mouth-watering reddddddd color to it. But that's ok, I have the beets phulkas na!

Flattery is the secret to my giant ego!

2008-11-01T21:31:00.001+05:30

So, these two young "boys" stopped me and Cher on our walk this evening with a hesitant "excuse me...".
I stopped and looked up, "Uh-huh?"
Bitty more confident, "Can I talk to you?"
Bitty more wary, "About what?"
"Ohh, just like that."

Ahh. Ohhhhhh. TeeHee. This is crackalicious.

Snicker, "Drop it. I'm way older than you boys. Go home!"
A tad surprised and skeptical, "How old?"

THIRTY TWO!!

Hahahaaa. The expression was priceless! Loved it. The other kid with the romeo started guffawing with glee as I walked away. On my turn back, the kid is still hanging around and he stops me again and wants to know if I'm lying! I wish. He couldn't believe it and told him like the proper disapproving matron I am, "You should be hitting on girls in your school!" The kid goes with due umbrage, "I'm not in school, I'm in college!!"

Oops.

TeeHeeeee.
That was nice. Like a second second helping of Custard Apple Sorbet. Satisfying and enormously pleasing!

Crash! Bump!

2008-10-19T14:56:00.002+05:30

Ever walked full speed into a wall of glass? No? Try it some time. It will give you a whole new perspective on what a kaleidoscope looks like without the... scope. Not to mention the lovely bumps it will leave you with to admire and poke and prod at later.

Trust me to get hurt in a mall of all the places. A perfectly SAFE place where the chances of tripping, crashing, speeding etc. are almost zero. The max you can do is probably get whiplash from all the crazy window-shopping. I was merrily spending time in the TGIP looking at this and that, mostly this; which was actually a necklace set to go with the black Sari I planned to wear for P-babes wedding tonight. My feet were protesting a tad by the end of 4 hours I had spent hopping between shops, when I spotted something on a window that I thought would a good excuse to spend my hard earned money on. I'm walking towards the shop door, in my normal speeeedy stride, distracted a little by this boy and child playing next to me and... BANG!

Instead of the door I miscalculated and walked straight the glass wall. 7 mins later I realized that ppl in Noida are asswipes. I am standing there clutching my poor lil head, stunned at how badly it was hurting and NO ONE CAME TO ASK ME IF I WAS OK. Fuckers. Actually one lady did, but by then I was raving mad, so I kicked the glass wall screaming some gibberish that I cannot recall and she skittered away. But not the store owner, not the guard outside the door, or the ppl walking about bothered to find out if I wasn't going to keel over and die of brain hemorrhage.

With tears streaming down from my right eye, I managed to locate a door, hoping it was leading to the Restroom, turned out to be the stairwell... oh well, I sat there and tried to see in my lil pocket mirror what the damage was. A bump the size of a lemon above my right eye, a bump the size of a marble on my cheekbone. Hmmmmmm. Not good. I had a very important wedding to attend to dammit!! The cleaning guy found me whimpering and skittered away as well. What's wrong with humanity!!?? It's officially dead.

I decided to go home and slept with an icepack. This morning I found out that I had bumped my knee as well and it was a lovely shade of purple, and it hurt to walk. So I've been sitting in bed with the icepack around my head and knee for the better part of the day today, just have got to be able to go to the wedding man.

The bumps have reduced drastically, I'm pleased to notice. Maybe a lil makeup will mask the bruising. I can walk around if I don't put too much pressure on my knee, but the true test would be in my heels. *grits teeth*

Better go iron my Sari now!

Tooth Begone!

2008-10-10T22:14:00.000+05:30

I'm shy of one molar today. So happy! So happy that I want to get rid of the other wisdom tooth as well.

The experience was the least traumatizing of all my dentist appointments of the past. The local anesthesia was a tad painful and took about 7 minutes to achieve complete loss of sensation at the extraction site. The entire extraction took about 3 mins tops!! I was freaking amazed! She was definitely kind and sweet, asking me not to cry when I didn't even know I had tears leaking from my eyes... embarrassing! :P I hadn't sat in the dentists chair in over 10 years methinks, and was noticeably nervous and anxious. She recognised that and tried to put me at ease, talked me through the process, esp. when she was digging around the gums and pulling the bugger out. And what a fat molar he was... I asked for it for posterity's sake. TeeHee. Maybe I'll make a pendant outta the bugger.

The pain hasn't been that bad at all. In fact I can almost say that there has been no pain. Imagine that! I also expected that I wouldn't be able to talk, but I can more than a bitty and in the evening I ate some noodles. The thought of NOT chewing and only slurping was driving me insane! I'm supposed to eat solids/semi-solids tomorrow, but I have no will-power *sigh* !

Next are my giant ass cavities. The dentist thinks I may need to get Root Canal for them. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. *shudder* And she has asked me to think about braces again. I need to get a full mouth x-ray done first, to see how much work would be required to fix my crookedness. For regular normal looking braces its 20k, the transparent ones are 35k and the invisible ones that are installed in the back of the teeth are for a whopping 75k. I'll have to wear them from 14 months to 2 years and I'll have to give up certain foods and habits while I have them on.

And yes, I did ask her about kissing. It was pretty apparent that no one in her career had presented her with that query cause her expression was comical to say the least. TeeHee!

Wisdom Woes

2008-10-08T20:36:00.003+05:30

The friggin wisdom tooth I have been ignoring for the past month and half finally forced me to seek out a dentist, like PRONTO. The effing bugger is crowning at an angle, digging into my cheek and burning an ulcer into the flesh. GAH! I was hoping (I don't know WHY!) it would re-align itself like a good lil tooth, but like the rest of his rogue brothers he rebelled and decided to do as he please.

I woke up with this PAIN, couldn't open my mouth, couldn't brush my teeth, couldn't eat... I could feel the tooth's edge digging in, in IN. I had to get the last rogue who crowned at an angle, treated by a dentist as well. I still recall the PAIN, the bleeding, the snip snip snip of her scissors on my numb tissue making space for the bugger to fucking crown. GAH!

Since moving to Noida I have to find a dentist here, cannot afford to travel to Delhi. Looked one up on the internet and called the clinic up. The doc answered herself and invited me to come see her right away. I was like, "how considerate"... she was like, "Fassa!" Anyhoos, I popped into an auto and went to see her, the clicnic was neat and clean with a strictly no-shoes-indoors policy. So far so good. The dentist was nice, of course she was. I'd be nice to the cow I was going to milk as well! She checked the rogue out and told me he's got to go, that I'll not have any use for him and he'll only make things more complicated for me. Hmmm sounds like we were discussing a man :P. Then she very politely goes, "You should get treatment for your other teeth as well... you have a BAD bite... your whatchamacallit molars/incisors are at this angle... the lower jaw teeth will soon loose their gum protection... you have giant ass cavaties..." Hmmmmmmmm. And here I was hoping she wouldn't be able to spot any of those. Drat! Plus when she remarked, "You should think about getting braces...", I panicked! Braces!? How the heck will I kiss then? Nooooooooooooo. But she went on and on about how I have neglected my teeth and I'll have to pay for it when I grow old. *sigh*

First things first. The wise old rogue is going to be evicted this Friday. I hope she's a good KIND dentist, KIND with her hands and evil instruments. *shudder* GAH!

A Mighty Hat!

2008-10-04T20:05:00.000+05:30

I might... a mighty big might... be going to the RSNA show this year in Chicago. Which would be awesome, I have always wanted to SEE the biggest show related to our industry and now finally I get the opportunity. What's funny is that I have been designing the booths and all for this show and not yet have seen what they look like in reality. Would be awesome to actually get to see my work up-close and personal.

I have been hearing a LOT about how freaking cold it's there in Dec, and I'm a tad nervous about being able to brave it. So, in preparedness for traveling to the Windy City, I decided to crochet me a sturdy, warm hat.
Ta-Da!
I was a lil off on the measurements and it's the teeniest bit big. But it covers my ears nicely and I hope it will stand the test of cold and wind. The original pattern didn't have a brim, I added that on me own, gave it a feathery trim with the leftover feather wool I had and I think it looks mighty cute.

I'm re- crocheting the scarf to go with the hat, I had crocheted it last winters but since I was in a hurry them to get it over with I had used a pattern with "holes" in it. I unraveled it last week and now I'm re-doing it in a more close-"knit" pattern.

Can't wait to wear them both!

20 Question Tag

2008-10-02T00:17:00.007+05:30

What have you realized recently?
-- Idli batter left on the kitchen counter all day, will ferment like hell, spill all over and create an unholy mess and smell worse than cat urine.
-- Also, be careful what you wish for, you JUST might get it and NOT in the order you wished them in.
Have you given your first kiss away?
-- Only too gladly!
If you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 11 blog buddies you would take?
-- Um. I'd really rather take Keanu Reeves.
Where is the place you want to go the most?
-- Back in time from a specific date to a specific date and run that in a loop till kingdom come.
If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?
-- Assuming this means a day-dream; I'd want the time travel to come true.
Do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?
-- Secretly yes, but it's more fun pretending to be a cynical bitch.
What are you afraid of losing the most now?
-- My will, focus and sanity.
If you win $1 million, what would you do?
-- 33% invest in land/property, 33% for family and my "animal/earth" causes, 33% BLOW it UP.
If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
-- Confess that I pee in the shower? Sure!
List out 3 good points about the person who tagged you.
1- non-judgemental
2- always THERE for me
3- painfully honest (sucks at times!)
What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
-- That when I'm picking a fight, he should just grab and kiss the living day-lights outta me instead of fighting back.
What type of people do you hate the most?
-- Mostly most ppl.
What is the one thing you can’t live without?
-- Constant and consistent reassurances.
If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
-- Look all of you gleeful pointers, QUIT POINTING! I've had it with you nit-picking my faults, you are not so grand yourselves ok, you all stink and in some cultures my faults are adorable. Hmmpppfff!
Question was missing; so I added me own-
Name 3 things you wanted as a child and never got.
1. Space of my own. HATEed sharing.
2. Attention. Or rather, more attention.
3. School trips.
Are you a shopaholic or not?
-- Certified and absconding from theraphy.
Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
-- Bindaas!
If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
-- The part that explodes frequently.
What’s the last shocking thing you’ve seen or heard?
-- I hadn't known that The Joker was actually Heath Ledger, and throughout the movie I was like, "WHO is this brilliantly creepy nutjob... who is also a tad hot!?"
Would you rather have love but no money or money but no love?
-- Love, love, love, looooooooooooooove, luuuurrrvveeeee... all the way!

***
This was fun!

Let the necking...begin!

2008-09-16T10:28:00.003+05:30

"Charles—it was love at first sight when I saw your beautiful, long neck..."

"Nadine—you're the one with the vertebra that WON'T QUIT"

And then they stared at their lake reflections fer hours, Jennifer B.

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/09/giraffe-and-ost.html

I feel blue

2008-09-14T14:36:00.003+05:30

Yes. I’m feeling sorry for myself again. Being sick tends to have that effect on me. As I stood this morning in the kitchen… dirty kitchen, scrounging around for a spoon that looks “clean” to eat my sago porridge, I’m engulfed in waves of self-pity. Majorly cause its pitiful that one has to cook breakfast for oneself when one is so sick. And when one has to go see the disinterested-in-your-care doctors in a big fancy hospital by oneself. And when one has to buy medicines and then remember to take them by oneself. And when your tummy hurts in the middle of the night there isn’t anyone but your own thineself who is rubbing your tummy going, “there there”… ok ok I wasn’t. But I was moaning by myself. :( I miss my mom.

Meh.

Ok anyways. I have decided on the tattoo I want. Finally. YES! Something to look forward to and worry about till I get it and then worry about how it looks. Fun. :P

No, it’s not ornamental or a bilingual motif that means auspicious in one language and turnip in another. No, it’s not my name in Hebrew. No, it’s not his name in Braille. Oooooh. Wait. That’s a NEAT idea. Hmmmm. Bears thinking over. Well, no ones going to be able to miss it once I get it. That’s all I’m mentioning at this point.

I’m more than a lil excited about it. Majorly cause it means freedom for me. For so many things that ppl take for granted, it will be a fresh start for me. I’m doing a lot of research on this, trying to find the right artist, esp. if that right artist is also located where my clients are when I go visit them in States :P cause travelling to SF to get a tattoo on a business visit to NY would just not be possible!

Thinking of the tattoo actually gives me a lot of… joy, believe it or not. There isn’t all that much to be joyful about as it is in my life. Maybe the word is hopeful. Things at work couldn’t suck more. Things at home stink… literally. My pee is sunset orange, which normally is a happy color, but not in your toilet bowl. I’m surviving on fried eggs and toast. My mouth tastes vile and bitter. I think I have dandruff. I think Cherie has it too. I have no desire to move beyond the space that is my bed and at times I contemplate if it would be ok to just pee in the bed just so I do not have to get up. My heightened sensitivity to noise, light and in particular smell is not HELPING!!!

Meh.

But thinking of the tattoo helps.

I am a Thunder and Static kind of day!

2008-09-10T11:45:00.008+05:30

Life Begins, new Mommieee >:D<, you tagged me which leads me to believe that you have some interest in knowing what day I wish to be, so here goes.

***

There's one and only one kind of day I wish to be and that is a thunderous, overcast, heavy with impending rain, charged with static day.

When you wake up in the morning and the sky looks dark and angry, rumbling deep in her belly her discontent with the general state of affairs, the hot arid indifference of the sun, and you just know it's going to be a wet wet, gloriously wet day. The air is charged with static, making your hair dance in the wind as you take down the laundry from the clothesline, a bitty annoying but a bitty fun, it smells slightly musty and you turn your nose up a notch to catch the deliciously effervescent scent.

Lightning flashes and streaks across the sky, the wind picks up strength, lifting petticoats and kicking up naughty dust devils, they swirl and tease the road-side trash. Thunder cracks out a loud warning setting off car alarms, startling you and making you almost spill your morning tea. Steady arms tether you close and you both stand just under the canopy of the balcony, unmistakably giving in to the joy of watching the heavens put on a pompous light and sound show.

Pitter-patter-pitter-pat-pat... fat orbs whizz down to the parched earth, crack open and turn everything a shade or so dark and very damp. The heady scent of wet earth makes your senses dance, his eyes light up with delight as you lean in for a kiss, the soft spray of the raindrops misting over your feet deliciously. The heavens pour their hearts out, enveloping you in a world of rain, turning everything into muted shades of pastel, like an old watercolor painting.

Lost in languor, the wet morning seeps into a damp evening. Snuggled close under warm blankets, the world outside the window looks clean and fresh, a soft cool breeze sneaks in ruffling the curtains. "Chai", softly whispered, just so it would not annoy you... too much."Ok baba, but you make the pakoras."

***

Even though I HATE what rain does to anything below the vicinity of my ankles, how the roads turn muddy and impassable, how the gutters swell and flood with trash, reeking of filth... not to mention how suddenly all autowalas not want to go anyFUCKINGwhere. GRRR. And oh yeah, the infux of happily swarming mosquitoes and flies. Yech.

But I absolutely adore storms, booming thunder and crackalicious lightning, the wind wailing as if the world is truly coming to an end. The sheer power of nature and the faciniating display of it, completely rocks my senses. Most of my dreams, esp. the flying ones have an overcast weather, gloomy clouds and the soft spray of rain. I love it. When I wake up in the morning and I see its all couldy and dark, I feel euphoric. There's a promise of something fresh and clean in the air, plus it tends to make me feel reeeeeeeeally frisky. :P

Tagging ~nm.

Thoo!

2008-08-06T13:44:00.001+05:30

How many times has one said that curse or wanted to say it? At times I have said it in pure jest when kidding around with friends, and at times I have muttered in under my breath wholly intending to do if suitably provoked. But would you ever really, given the opportunity to spit on someone’s face, spit on their face?

I did. Yip. Yes Siree.

I woke up on Moving Day to find Bhumi missing, and I eventually figured out that Madame’s run away. Imagine that! The fucking bitch after all the goody-two-shoes act she pulled on me for 7 months, after treating her like a fucking choti sister, ran fucking away. Just like that. Needless to say, my temper was at an all time thermometer-breaking high. The fucking moron never imagined that I'll go hunting for her, file a report with the police and come show her what PISSING me OFF means. After 3 hours of locating the crappy police station, dealing with crappy policemen who really really sincerely ought to be castrated with plastic kid-safe scissors, hunting down the placement agency in the galli's and nukkas of Badarpur Border, I stormed into the Agency, screeching like a banshee.

TeeHee. In retrospect, the reactions all round were both intensely satisfying and funny as hell. Bhumi was beyond shocked, stunned speechless as I screamed abuses at her in both Hindi (Yes... including the C-word. Yes. Me. Yes. I said the C-word. Just once tho) and my spectacular, albeit wasted on the retarded fuckwits, English. In hind sight, some of the things I said to her are admittedly whacked! My throat was parched (from the hunting expedition and all the screaming) and yet I managed to scrounge around in my dry throat and scrapped enough spit to hurl it smack dab in the back-stabbing bitches face.

Not once but TWICE!!

Later as I sat in the car, I looked within myself at wonderment that I could lose control to that extent. That my rage would drive me to such frenzy. Point to be noted though here is that I didn’t for a nanosecond feel bad. Nope. But what concerns me is the exultation spasming through me at her reaction... stupefied fear. It felt awesome watching her cower in fear, in utter bewilderment, trying to grapple with the fact that her asinine act of just running away would drive me to insanity.

I felt betrayed. Completely and utterly let-down, disappointed and disillusioned. I counted on her to stand by me cause I stood by her. I didn't chuck her out the minute I discovered she couldn't bloody well cook to save her scrawny ass, I cooked and fed her, I let her eat fucking momos whenever she wanted, I gave her my clothes, my perfumes, let her watch DVD's on the TV at home, she fucking ran up my phone bill more than the bitch earned in a month, listened to her non-stop narrate fucking BORING stories of her friends and neighbors as if I'd really have ANY bloody interest in them... and then the screwup hippty-hops out the door cool as can be thinking she's fucking Jackie Chan of Darjeeling and no one can touch her.

GAWD! The only thing I restrained myself (mighty proud of my restraint btw) was not to beat her to a bloody pulp, red-belt-in-karate-kiss-my-ass. Gah!

Now I'm stuck with a temp maid who talks too fucking loudly but likes the dog and cat (or pretends to! Allah hi jaane), can't cook, has ZERO sense about most things and how to do them, yaps constantly about her previous Madame and how balls-out-fantastic she was (YET she left her!) but I tolerate her cause I have to.

HATE it.

Silver Linings

2008-07-31T22:45:00.003+05:30

Cher did something last night that just amazed me. No, she did not cook me a fancy dinner. But it was equally amazing.

It was bedtime and I called her over to come follow me to the room, when I reached the room I, out of habit, closed the door behind me, forgetting for a moment that Cher was following me. Before I could turn around to open the door, it opened. The lil miss had ambled over to the door, bumped her nosed on it and figured it was closed, so she stood up on her hind legs and pushed it open with her lil itty bitty fore paws!! AWWWWWWWWman it was ever so cute. And amazing. I know she's blind and not stupid, but still.

The D-Day is approaching. Over the weekend I shift. I have managed to arrange for the advance rent and 2 months security somehow from my own resources. I'm still about some short, but I think I'll manage for now. *phew* There's this THING hanging over my head that just will not let me relax. There's a lot going on in the office and it's driving me insane. Plus the house shifting and my natural tendencies to launch into panic attacks because any major change in my life will completely unhinge me, has not been fun. I hate setting up house. Hate the whole 2-3 weeks it takes to settle in a new home. I like things to be SET already when I get there. *sigh* I shouldn't complain. But I'm still going to. GAH!

And then I fell off the cyclerick yesterday. Which was NOT FUN! Just banged my shoulder, trying to save the laptop. The upside was that the cyclerick wala dropped me all the way to the office and I didn't have to switch cyclericks after the crossing.

It's all about the sliver linings I tell you. :P

Buri Nazar Wale...

2008-07-25T15:39:00.004+05:30

... tera fucking face kala!!

GRRRR.

So goddamn pissed right now. The fucking landlord refuses to waive off the 10% renewal increase on the rent. Fucking greedy pig, I hope a thousand fleas nest in your armpits till kingdom come!

I knew it was too good to be true and I knew something will jinx it sooner than later. I fucking hate the entire fucking world right now.

***
Update- 8:09 PM

Hmmmm. So. After many discussions and advices and lectures and one coax, I called the landlord up and agreed to his terms. *sigh* I just want to be done with this and move on to the next issue on my list. I hope things look brighter once I move.

House Hunting

2008-07-22T23:02:00.000+05:30

House hunting sucks ass.

I was all excited about the prospect of moving house, day dreaming about how things will be this way and that way in the new place, how I'll do it up with this and that, blah blah blah... Just the hunting part has soured my mood so much that I'm no longer excited about anything. The rent rates are friggin HIGH, the rooms are friggin SMALL and Landlords are a PAIN in the ASSHOLE region. I have had 2 of them tell me on phone that they will not give to single women and they want a family with kids as tenants, they then turn around and ask, "Tumne shaadi nahin ki... kab karogi?" WTF? I wanted to retort back, "Shaadi nahin ki, lekin char bacche hain, wo chalega?"

It's not like I don't get their point. Single ppl are (lets be honest) notorious for "loud music, drinking alcohol, fighting and getting into ruckuses, walking about in knickers (men & women both), living like yahoos, messing up the place, friends dropping in at odd hours, too many opp. gender friends living in, yada yada yada" I. GET. IT. But it's still unfair. Not all of us are yahoos who spit on walls and sleep on fresh newspapers instead of fresh sheets. Some of us are really swell about keeping the place clean and will only have the steady come live them them for a couple of weeks. :P

And it's not like married ppl WITH effing kids don't create issues. But what gets me all riled up is the "respectability" factor firmly attached to married ppl. Are married ppl just by the fact that they are MARRIED, respectable? Don't married ppl walk about in knickers? Don't their kids gleefully scribble with crayons and finger-paint on walls? Don't married ppl play loud music? Don't "respectable" married ppl drink alcohol and beat their wives? How is it that all these are acceptable or ignored by these "pious" landlords? Effing double standards!

I have finalized on a place. Spoke to the landlord and yes, he did ask me the golden question, "What are your future plans? When do you intend to get married?" GRRR. I bore it with good grace, the apartment is worth that much at least! And it is a rather nice place esp. considering all the options I have seen so far, even tho it has teeny-tiny balconies. Expensive no doubt, but looking at some of the benefits it has I'm keen to snatch it asap. I'm more than a bitty apprehensive about the chikchik I might have to suffer cause I have a dog or if my heels make too much noise clacking in the corridors, not to mention if I have *ahem* male friend(s) drop by... *sigh* but I shall bear that as well with good grace (GAWD! I hope!!)

Lets be positive; since I already have suffered a lecture just last night for being negative, and hope for the best.

Walk a mile in his... feet

2008-07-15T10:46:00.002+05:30

I take a cycle rick to the Railway Crossing, and after crossing the tracks take another cycle rick to where the office is. From my house to the crossing and there on is the "back" route, where the roads (as previously ranted about) are HELL! and 80% of the time after the Railway Crossing the cyclerick walas on the other end refuse to take the back route leading up to the office. The "road" is so bad that they flat out start whining and weeping like chokri's how bad it is and I'm left with the option to either walk to the main road and flag a cyclerick down or just... walk the entire way to work.

NOT FUN.
GRRRRRR!

Now there are a couple of cyclerick walas who do not whine and are keen to make 15-20 bucks. If I'm lucky (which I'm not) I'll get one of these guys and they'll happily take me to office. This morning I was lucky! It had rained last night and at dawn, and the "road" was beyond icky, it was just this gooey mess of mud and sewage, churned to a glistening consistency by trucks and bullock carts. While I sat high above the ground only forced to deal with the bone jarring bumps and the noxious smell, the cyclerick wala has to jump on and off the cycle and drag the vehicle in order to maneuver through it all and I know most of these guys do NOT want to bother with this exertion or cannot (lets be kind) and step into the gooey mess and get their feet dirty but this guy was UNFAZED. He not only jumps right in but takes his chappals off!!

So, off we go, with my cyclerick wala walking BARE FEET in this unholy mess! I was shocked, amazed and humbled. This guy just wanted to make a living and he is ready to go to lengths to make that possible cause quite obviously he does not have a choice. I'll be off from here in a few weeks time, off to better roads but he'll be here, working these very roads. The thought of stepping into that pool of infections and diseases is close to unthinkable for me, and even if I did, I'll be scrubbing me feet till kingdom come and go see a doctor to rule out any worm infestations etc. But not this guy. This guy will probably get to wash his feet, if at all, late that night or next morning and I know he cannot afford a quack, much less a doctor. He probably does not know what teems in this squelchy mess and how dangerous some of these infestations are.

Reality check.

Yip. I have it good. way too good, even if I have to walk to work and complain about the heat and dust and how much I hate this place, I have it good.

Feet, I salute thee!

Malai Kofta

2008-07-13T23:13:00.003+05:30

A staff member at work today wanted to go home a tad bitty early; it was her brothers B'day and she was making Malai Koftas for him.

Hmmmmmmm.

Past few weeks ago I read in Nids bloggie that she'd made these yummilicious koftas WITH pictures posted to torture me of course.

Apparently it's not rocket science that goes into creating this magical dish. Feeling extremely adventurous, not to mention that the visions of creamy kofta gravy was driving me literally insane, I decided to try my hand at making them.

Popped out both Sanjeev Kapoors recipe book and the prep method on Nids bloggie, just so I'm both inspired and I don't make any goof ups mixing this instead of that. Supposed to take under an hour to get these puppies ready, and it took me close to 3! TeeHee! I felt like I was making explosives, handling the uncooked koftas as if they will explode in my hands, splattering the grated paneer filling all over me poor face. Carefully and very very slowly I managed to make 12 dumplings and fried them one by one. Oooooooo! They looked yummy and I almost chucked the gravy part, just wanted to bite into these and be done with it.

Next, the gravy was easy peasy... actually not, I always screw up the gravy. Somehow I still don't know how to get that smooth texture in the end instead of the lumpy, gritty texture I'm left with no matter how long I cook the damn thing. I variated a bitty and instead of adding the tomato puree to the fried onion puree, I added the masalas to the fried onion puree and broiled the entire mess till it turned a nice toasted shade of brown. To that I added the tomato puree and hmmmmm I admit it did look quite close to how gravies outta look. I let it boil close to 15 minutes and gobbled 2 koftas in the interim... could not resist. :P

Finally when the gravy looked "done" I switched off the gas and added the cream. Voila! Somehow I had managed to not fuck the entire thing up and it looked close to what I order from restaurants. I dropped the fried dumplings into the gravy and spooned the gravy over the puppies a bitty. So happy and hungry that I quickly ladled up a portion of it onto my plate and stood at the kitchen counter itself and ate it all. TeeHee!

It was definitely spicy (I have a generous hand when it comes to measuring out the chilly powder) and I think next time I'll try HARD to tone down the chilly factor and make it a tad bitty more bland. It was definitely rich, cause after one kofta I was like *BURP!* and forced myself to somehow finish the other one. So happy with myself, I never imagined I could make this dish at home and never imagined that it would actually taste good. *pats back*

Caught

2008-07-12T23:25:00.000+05:30

I had gone grocery shopping (an errand I absolutely luuurrrvvveee!) this evening and while I was having all the fun piling stuff in my cart, it started to rain. Unfazed, thinking it must be a drizzle cause it certainly didn't look like it would rain when I'd walked to the market, I hopity-hopped between the aisles.

After paying for the purchases and requesting the shop-boys to get the goods delivered to my apartment, I walked out the corridor completely unprepared for the downpour. JFC! It was raining bathtubs! Now I'm not the sort at all who likes or lets just say "tolerates" getting wet in the rain. The whole prospect of wet clingy clothes, dripping hair, squelching feet is NOT my idea of fun. Ick.

Stranded I decided to wait it out with few other shoppers who too were caught unprepared for this downpour. It was ok while there were these 2 other ladies with me, the local asswipes kept a suitable distance. Pretty soon, ones husband come to pick her up and the other flagged down a cyclerick. Yippee for me. Like bees to honey (and I'm NOT flattering myself here) the doucebags gleefully gravitated to where I stood, trying hard to blend in with the poster on the wall depicting some cartoon character happily munching on corn-flakes. Not successful.

Fine. I get it. In their retarded gnat-sized brains the whole "girl stranded in the rain" evokes orgasmic visual malfunctions. WooHoo for you. BooHoo for me. Stinking sweating men, drenched in their pathetic excuse of "masculinity" and the rain, swearing, smoking and excitedly scratching their balls as they guffawed, leered and made really gag-worthy comments, I fantasized about un-taping one of the electrical wires hanging near the signboard and just oh so casually letting it fall near where they stood in inch deep water. Ohh the absolute joy of watching them dance the happy gay dance of electrocution. *sigh* Fried hair and popping eyeballs... if wishes were horses!

After about an hour (it was 9pm by then) of fantasizing and working on that thick skin I have been trying to build for 2 years now, I decided to risk the ickyness and brave the rain. I set off, hunched and walking as fast as my lil legs could carry me, ignoring the color and questionable properties of the waters flooding the the streets. I turn right for my street and it's pitch black with just the faint glow from windows of houses, barely letting me see cause it was raining so hard. I trudge on, unknowing that which lay before me was a veritable "talaab" reaching up to my knees!!! I was suddenly caught in this terrifying pool of gushing water, the rain beating down on my head, can't see for shit... one of my favorite nightmares come true.

Panic, doesn't even begin to describe what exploded in my heart, raced through my veins, hitching my lungs shut and rendered my limbs numb. I haven't had the drowning nightmares in years. And here I was living it. Again. I swear I saw spots dancing in front of eyes, just how it used to when I'd have an panic induced asthma attack. No. That's NOT where we are going now are we trooper? Uh-Huh. I'm thankful for my sheer grit that I didn't completely lose my head and talked my myself into moving my legs, one at a time, telling myself that it's real not a dream, there's nothing in the water making it's way towards me, the lil bumps and nudges I feel against my legs are just twigs and trash, I can breathe, one puff in and one puff out, I have full control and I can walk out of this. Inching forward I used the cars parked on the sides to feel my way out to the bend and into another street. The water level was up to my shins here and manageable. There were no cars parked here, so stumbled around a bit and came to the other bend. The water was only ankle-deep, and I could see my gate further ahead, relief flooding through me. I literally ran home, feeling a lil stupid at my panic attack and how childishly I lost control of my faculties, yet quivering happily to be where there was light and the comfort of my home.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me. Years back I was caught in another downpour, with no ride home and decided to head out, foolishly believing that I possessed the gumption to tackle deserted roads and pouring rain on me own. Not. I must have fallen close to 3-5 times that night, stumbling around in the flooded streets, tripping into pot-holes, breath wheezing through constricted capillaries, desperately convincing myself that the water I was floundering in wasn't teeming with creepy-crawlies. I manage to make my way to a local market, stranded in front of a sole dingy pan-wala at 10:00pm, drenched and scared shitless cause all I encountered there too were just these asswipes, making me realize how ineffective my gender really is. I had made so many calls that night, requesting from friends to family to come pick me up, getting all sorts of excuses why they can't, and finally I got through to my cuz who actually could. While I waited for her to get done with work and come get me, I stood outside a fast-food joint, weeping my heart out, sucking on my inhaler, hoping I don't pass out. She finally arrives, shocked to see the state I'm in, blubbering like a hysterical baby, so happy to see a familiar face. Dropping me home, my Mom is even more shocked cause I was running 104 fever by then, a lil... ok a lot outta my mind, blabbing stuff that made no sense to her, clinging to her and crying like the world was ending.

Hmmmm. How did this get so long?

I don't hate the rain. As long as I'm indoors and/or with company. I actually love stormy weather, love lightning and thunder claps, static making my hair dance. Love the emotions cloudy weather evokes in my heart, tempting me to take flying leaps off windows and balconies. But the actual presence of water and darkness are too close to a dream I have had since I was child, that I have worked hard to beat it to the back of oblivion, never to rear it's ugly head again.

Zen Master

2008-07-10T17:35:00.010+05:30

I have got to document what my Zen Master spews forth on random occasions, esp. when he is waiting for me to reply to his pokes.

Without further ado;

Me :

- it takes a nano second for me to be plumetted into the depts of depression
- unpredictabiliyt like that just is not fun to deal with
- lus my typos really mess things upo
- gah

Zen Master :

- but without those typos, you wouldn't be you
- I'd worry that cybernetic beings from the future had stolen your brain and replaced it with some kind of genetically engineered super hamster

TeeHee! Brillianto!

Me :

- it's 5:45pm

Zen Master :

- I always picture you slaving away at your desk or whatever it is that you happen to sit at, at all sorts of times of the day and night, and even, sometimes, times that don't even exist in the normal day-to-day workings of the universe...it's like, you slip outside of time for a bit, and sit and work in some place, some frosty place with ice which has a slightly purple tinge to it
- by which I mean...ah...5:45...I see

Lets See

2008-07-04T14:31:00.004+05:30

Alrighty, so Snow is peeved off that he has to now share attention with Cher and he hisses and slaps her around annoyed at having to put up with her. I had to spank his lil tush the other night for slapping Cher bang on her lil noggin and scaring the bejesus outta her, lil pottysingh! Totally regretted it when he slunk behind the laundry bag and looked up at me woefully. Awwwman. He looks so goddamn cute even when he's being a meanie. I'm trying to let him know that he has to accommodate Cher while she's with us. It's not working, of course.

Cher on the other hand is learning her way around the house quite well, no more banging against furnitures and walls... well not so much anyhoos. When I take her for her walk, she LOVES it, gets all excited and wags her lil itty-bitty tail and when we go down the stairs my heart just fair breaks at her fumbling attempts to get down the stairs. She's a brave lil lady, just needs a lotta coaxing and encouragement and she's managed to go down 2 flights unassisted. But I think she finds the entire 4 flights really hard to figure out, so she'll just sit, look abouts to where I am standing and wag her itty-bitty tail as if asking PUHLEASE pick me na! I'll carry her down and on the street she's off like a lil happy rocket.

She poops just fine and is good at walking behind/beside me, her lil nosie at times bumping against my leg when I slow down. I have had ppl stop twice and tell me "how kewwwwt!!"and ask me what breed she is, I guess she looks a lil funny with her fur all chopped up. On the way back up the stairs she has no issues climbing, but she does get tired before we get to our floor. I'm giving her 2 meals and she licks her bowl clean, when I lift her I can feel difference from the day I got her to how she weighs now. Neat progress. Her infections are all dried up and flaking off, a rather icky prospect to deal with cause she now wants to sleep with me on the bed. I let her, of course. :P Love the way she romps about on the bed pleading for belly-rubs, tho at 4:00am I'm pleading with her to lie still and SLEEP!

N predicts that I'll end up keeping her. That thought crosses my mind at least 30 million times in a day :D, and I start off with all the reasons how I can and how I cannot. :( She reminds me of Sweetie so much, not that she's anything like Sweetie, but even Da was all like, it's like Sweetie is back with you. Hmmmmmm.

"Let see", said the Zen Master.

Hint of Impropriety

2008-06-30T00:55:00.002+05:30

I was on call with this property dealer, getting some facts cleared for a property he had listed in the Internet and we had gone to see past week, when all of a sudden the talk turned... um... flirty.

It took nearly 10-15 seconds for me to suddenly realize he'd asked me a personal question that I had almost given an answer to! Hmm. He is definitely a smooth talker no doubt about it, very gentlemanly with his polished angrezi, but I was a lil amazed how interested he seemed and how personal his questions were getting. Put a stop to that, yip, and he goes, "Ahhh! I get it, no personal questions huh?". Right Dood.

He's been missed-calling me and then smsing me nearly everyday, requesting me to call back at "my convenience" to "talk about the property". Yeah Right. I'm no longer 18 mister!! I know all about your Lothario-kinds! On the 5th day I finally answered his call and he was all like, you have been avoiding me, I'm so hurt. EH! Then he goes on, how about letting me take you around to "see properties" and I'm all like, "No can do, we have already finalized on one building" and he's says his voice all low and husky, "Ohh, my bad luck that I couldn't be of service to you... *sigh!*" I'm like WTF, is this Dood for real!? He hasn't SEEN me and he's being all improper on the phone! For all he knows I'm fat and hairy with 32 warts on my nose!!!

As I'm politely and FIRMLY trying to end the conversation he goes, "Can we meet for coffee sometimes?", I refuse; he sighs again and goes, "Would have been nice to put a face to this voice of yours." WhooHoo!

I'm not denying that it does me ego a bitty good to hear that *snicker* but no siree, no can do.

Mixing it up!

2008-06-17T21:56:00.016+05:30

Somehow things are working out rather well... with the dogs and the cat. Not with the maid.

I had taken Cherie to the vet immediately after rescuing her. They chopped of all her mats, which means all of her fur. She had bruises, and the vet confirmed that she's blind. Me and Koo bathed her once we came back home. Cherie sleeps in my room in Bala's old bed. She recognizes my voice and she's responding to the name Cherie. She has this darling lil way of concentrating on my voice when I'm calling her and walking towards it, gently bumping her nose against the wall or door jamb when she falters. She has figured out how to get in and out of the bed. She loves belly rubs. She eats like a lil lady with lil nibbles but she attacks the rawhide bone with glee.

I got her a puppy leash and a collar and we went for a nice lil walk this evening. If I keep talking to her, she walks right beside me. But at times she'll stop and sniff about and refuse to budge, then turn around and pick another direction. I'm thinking I'll tie a bell to my shoe and see if she figures out by the sound that I'm with her, walking beside her.

I'm trying to get her into a routine, but it's been difficult cause Bhumi doesn't really help. She just does the bare minimum and that just plain pisses me off.

Ginger is a sweetheart, a tad too submissive and a tad bit insecure. But she loves belly rubs too. I gave her Bala's squeaky toy and man it was hilarious watching her with it. I don't think she's ever had a toy before, cause she would hop over to the toy and then quickly hop back as if expecting it to explode, nudging it just barely and yip with glee when it squeaked. Absolute joy watching her play with it. No issues with food, she licks her plate clean and she's quite well behaved on the walks.

And yes, Dr. R was on the dot about one detail. She is a very beautiful girl... and I think she knows it. :)

The stress of dealing with 2 strange dogs has forced Snowie to take up yoga. Here's his highness striking a very complicated pose.

I love the utter disdain he has for all and sundry... TeeHee!

Smells a lil sour

2008-06-16T23:15:00.002+05:30

It would seem Dr. Ryder isn't so grand as I was under the impression of. We had agreed to him leaving Dieter with me for a week, but when I saw him past Sat, it was Ginger he wanted me to dogsit.

HMMMMMM.

Now we have test-driven Dieter, with Snow and us and our routines and his routines. I know jack shit about Ginger. He assured me, or OVER-assured me what a lovely dog Ginger is, which she is I'm sure, but that's not the point. The point is that Ginger does not know our routine, our house, Snowie or has the time to go through a test-drive. Leaving her with me, akin to suddenly abandoning her with strangers would be wrong. I couldn't say no, so I said yes.

I hate how ppl do not live up to the grandness I paint them with. WHY????? I view Dr. Ryders dog switcheroo as a form of cleverness and irresponsibility that just minused a huge chunk of his brownie points. Not to mention the oversell he did on the property bit. Trying to pass off a half-finished "factory" as a "beautiful" building fit for IBM just soured my mood.

Sucks.

So Ginger is with me, and I have unfortunately keep her in the TV room, cause yes of course Bhumi is rank 10 with the uselessness of a maid when you need them the most, educated my arse. With Cherie and Snow in the mix, Ginger quite obviously feels where the fuck am I!?

Sucks ass.

Ma Cherie

2008-06-15T22:26:00.003+05:30

Wet, shivering, tied to a tree all night in the rain, quite possibly blind. My heart just broke. I'll never be able to ever erase the sight of her whimpering, as the man untied her short rope, expecting more abuse, terrified not knowing what was in store for her. Holding her flea infested body in my arms, her fur incredibly matted, thick with grime and stinking of utter neglect, I was stunned at the capacity ppl possess for cruelty, for being monsters.

Cherie is sleeping in Bala's old bed now. She's clean, she's fed, she's warm and she's safe.

Moving Out

2008-06-14T23:39:00.008+05:30

We are going to move. YaY!

I have probably never hated a place with such feral passion as much as I hate this office's location. There's no fucking road. Honest. It's a squidgy sewery water-logged hell hole, inhabited by the utter rotting filth of human kind who stare holes in me when I walk by (or bump about by in the cyclerick... OW! my poor bones!) and lasciviously throw out fetid "compliments". If I had a gun I'd have gut-shot 17 asswipes every morning and 26 every evening. *sigh* If wishes were horses...

Anyhoos, Buds and moi spent the better part of today scouting for new locations in Noida. I'm hopeful that by 2 weeks time we'll have something to finalize on and look forward to new and better beginnings. Driving around on the bike is not so much fun as it was when I was in college, majorly cause it majorly messes up your hair. I hate messed up hair. Cannot stand it! GRRR! My head wrapped up in a stole like a terrorist with the eye-slit covered in shades I frankly scared a few fellow bike/scooterwalas when we'd stop at the red lights. Of course men being men, they'd STILL stare trying hard with their "x-ray" vision to see through the stole and shades, the big mens shirt I had on over my kurti... asswipes, the lot of you!

I like Noida though, in comparison to F'Bad. Although nothing can beat Delhi, Delhi rawks totally and completely. Food, shopping, hanging out in GK/Defcol/Khan Mkt/Janpat, movies in Saket, long drives till India Gate... cannot experience that anywhere else. Even though living in CW isn't a bad deal, I like it here too. But I'm ready to move. Ready to explore new beginnings again in a new place. When I think of that it amazes me. How did I become so rootless and nomadic? NOT that I have lived about like a gypsy, in fact I haven't. But I'm no longer worried and anxious about the prospect of moving house, shifting my base as I used to be couple years back. The question doesn't daunt me anymore. I actually look forward to it.

OK, NOT to the whole packing up the house and unpacking it! THAT I do NOT look forward to at all. No siree. Uh-huh.

Every place I have actually wondered about since I was in school I have gotten to be there for a bit and explore it. The school bus would turn right to go to GK and I'd wonder what lay to the left turn; and when I started working, the route turned left! While I was in that office I got an interview call for an office in Mathura Rd. and my Da flipped; TOO FAR! he ranted and raved but I still went for the call. I didn't get the job, but in a few years I was stationed client-side in Mathura Rd. It's didn't seem so far honest. While I was working client-side my colleague used to commute from F'Bad and it used to frighten me. Commuting from another state... wow, how do ppl manage that!!? Another chick used to stay by herself in F'Bad which put me in perpetual awe of her. Living on your own in another state AND commuting to work... double wow. Pretty soon I bought my house in F'Bad, ha! Not just that, in a couple of years I just moved to a rented place in a pretty colony and living by myself. I still cannot get over this change in me.

When the heck did I grow up, man! :P

The tag of 8s!

2008-06-06T22:27:00.004+05:30

Long due. Plus I needed a reason NOT to document what's REALLY going on in me life right now.

The lists are in no particular order.

8 Things I am passionate about:

Paneer
Promoting Animal Welfare
Fruits
Nanoo
Doing everything possible to reduce my carbon footprint
Daydreaming
Shopping
Poochies and Huggies

8 Things I do that drives Mama crazy
Umm... used to drive my Momsie crazy :P

When I used to act like I was the Mom and she the kid.
Holding her in a death-grip with my arms and leg while sleeping.
Nagging non-stop about... well anything and everything.
Demanding that she wake me up with atleast 3 cups of ginger-tea and if either one was not made to my exact specifications I would throw a tantrum... and then she'd have to wake me up with lots and lots and LOTS of poochies and huggies.
Hoarding fruits and snackies in my cupboard cause I hated sharing anything with my bro.
While dressing up to go someplace, I'd force her to wear the sari I liked instead of the one Da picked for her, and when she would still wear what Da wanted, I'd get all miffed and cranky and sulk the entire time.
My refusal to go to church.
Waking her up in the middle of the night to go see why some pup or dog was mewling, sneaking pups and dogs in the terrace and then sneaking them into the house and into my bed, emo-blackmailing her to deal with Da into letting me re-home the pups and strays... *sigh* miss it all so much.

8 Things I want to do before I die

Sky Dive/BASE Jump/Fly in a HotAir balloon
Have a baby
Go storm chasing
Visit Scotland; only for Jaime
Learn to drive a Car
Make a sincere effort to help the cause of animals and our planet
Write a book
Be loved, unconditionally

8 Things I say often

Who the F, What the F
Bloody Hell
Really???
Man... or meaaaaan!
Kya bakwas
Abe oye
Ba or Nanoo
Pukka?

8 Books I've read recently

The Twentieth Wife
Feast of Roses
Namesake
Mistress of Spices
Thats about all I have read recently. I'm too busy to crack open a book (imagine that!!), I do most of my reading these days online, and mostly it's either on Animal Welfare/Rights/Issues, or about organic products, green living or... crochet patterns. :P

8 songs I could listen to over and over
I cannot answer this!!!! There can never be JUST 8 or 10 or 1 or 100.

8 Things that make me me

Really short fuse
Has GREAT expectations
Opinionated
Obsessive
Vivid imagination
Passionate about the oddest of things
Moody as hell
Stubborn

Dieter- Photos

2008-05-23T17:15:00.007+05:30

My big fella is going home tomorrow. :(

Dr.R and I'm going to have a discussion on whether Dieter can stay with me next time when it's needed. Of course he can stay, there need not be any discussion. But I did promise myself to be practical so in the light of which I'm going to ask Dr. R that he send Dieter with food and train me how to walk him on the leash minus all the dashing about. Yip.

Mujh Ko Satao

2008-05-22T16:22:00.005+05:30

Just canNOT work. The weather is freaking me out completely. It's make-out weather, complete with this cool brush of air scented with wet vegetation and damp earth. It's insanely beautiful outside, I am literally forcing myself to stay put in my seat and finish my deadline.

But listening to this song; "Tau Phir Aao", I may be slipping into madness... it's eliciting emotions and feelings within, urging me to just stand on the ledge and fly off... and fly off I so desperately long to.

Dieter

2008-05-20T20:57:00.001+05:30

Should probably have titled this: Adventures in Dogsitting

Dieter won't eat. He ignored the chicken, he ignored the biscuits, he ignored the eggs and cheese and he ignored the chapatis. I'm befuddled cause I have yet to come across a dog that wont eat with gusto at least one of these. He doesn't seem sick, cause he plays about and wants to be petted and let off on the balcony, on his walks he's the same exuberant sort dashing this way and that. I have concluded that he misses his dada and is upset about being away from him. :(

Dr. Ryder and I have been in constant communication over Dieter, talking on the nearly 3-4 times a day and he's befuddled as well. I have asked him to come take the fellow back home on Friday. I think as a test to see if he can stay here, everything seems fine but I'm worried if he won't eat then that will become a huge issue. I asked him if this is how Dieter was in the boarding houses as well, but Dr. R thinks those fellow lie cause they'd say that the dog ate all his food, he loves milk, he's very happy... but now maybe he really wasn't eating his food there either! Bummer.

I do love having this dog in the house. He's no bother at all in the house, makes no fuss of any kinds and is a very sweet and loving chap. I love the way he cocks his head when I call his name, and his soulful eyes look up at me asking to be let out on the balcony, how he scuffs about on the carpet and the wary way he observes Snowie. I love hugging his neck and he'll sort of lean into me, as if telling me to hug harder and sigh a great big sigh. When I'm home and working on the laptop, he'll come every once in a while to check on me. I don't think he knows hide-n-seek but we sorta played that out last night and I think he gets the hang of it cause after a few times he'll come slowly to my hiding place and just peep in to see if I'm really there. I wish I knew or should learn how to handle him better so that our walks are fun for both us. I have asked Dr. R to teach me to handle Dieter before he teaches me art, I really really want to be able to take him on his walk and not make a spectacle of myself with all the guards and car drivers laughing at me.

And, NO I'm not at all thinking of keeping him. I'm going to be very practical about these things and now set ground rules that I absolutely cannot violate. Yip.

The man, and his Dog

2008-05-19T10:37:00.003+05:30

Last week Koo and I went to see this man about his dog. He wants to give it up for adoption and SOMEHOW I got involved in it as well. Honest. It was never MY intention to go anywhere the dog, but there I was, in the car on the way to Noida to see Dieter. Once we reached there, I have to say, the dog and the man were both so interesting that I wanted to adopt them both. :P

Dr. Ryder was just this witty, colorful old chap that you just cannot help but like him, if you are me. If you are you, you would probably have a different opinion. But then that's entirely your problem. Anywhichways, Dr. Ryder wanted to give the dog up cause when he travels about he has to leave the poor fellow in kennels and boarding houses and they both hate it. I then had this brillianto solution *pats back* that I would dogsit Dieter while he's out and about, that way they don't have to leave the dog with strangers in kennels and I get to have a dog.

Weeeeee! He agreed.
Well to test it out right now, cause I have never had a BIG dog before and even though Dieter is rather well behaved, I still need to see if I can really handle him. Not to mention Snowie and how he should not end up a masticated mess in Dieters tummy.

Dr. Ryder and his companion Manisha came over on Saturday with Dieter, and we tested him out with the house, with Bhumi and...... Snowie. Everything went well, so far so good. Sunday once again they trooped back to our house, this time with a pug in tow named Leo. Dr. Ryder showed us the ropes... or the leash in this case, on how to put it on the dog and "handle" him. Easier said than done. It's all swell when you are practicing it on your foot, it's another thing altogether when theres a 80 lbs dog at the end of your leash, showing off his awesome strength, a tug of which would send you tripping over your enthusiasm to "handle" this beast.

No. I did not trip. I did get dragged a bit, scrambling to stay upright.
No. It was NOT comical.
No. No one was laughing. Really.

What I really wanted to see how Dieter reacts to the pye-dogs and vice-versa. I cannot forget my lil rip with the Bully and yip, there he was... snarling in all his glory. It was amazing, how both Dr. Ryder and Dieter handled the bristling reception by Bully and Bullina (his mate) but then the man sure as hell has a good command over his dog than I would. I was a lil worried, what IF Dieter wouldn't listen to me. And, so we decided that I'll stick to routes that do not generally have Bullies and all Dieter needs to do is susu-potty and walk about a bit and thats all.

Alrighty.
What Dieter really likes to DO is:
- Get all EXCITED about his walk, so he sprints down the stairs like his tail is on fire, yipping happily and all the while I'm hanging on to the Banister desperately trying not to fall and lose all my teeth.
- He then DASHES about, sniffing this and pissing on that, all the while I'm tugged around at the end of his leash, trying again not to trip and break my nose.
- He needs to make potty on "high" ground, which generally means a flower pot, so far we have fertilized 3 pots.
- After he's done with his business, he calms down and bit and behaves. Which is good, cause by that time I'm limp anyways.

Back home, he seriously is a very well behaved dog. No begging for food, no messing up the furniture, no whining or crying for this and that, no scratching up the carpet. He just lays about peacefully by the balcony door and sleeps, or wants to be let out on the balcony to watch the world go by.

I'm hoping this arrangement works out to the benefit of both me and Dr. Ryder.
So far so good. :)

America

2008-05-09T20:51:00.003+05:30

Was nice:

Ppl are polite, they say thank you and please, excuse themselves when they pass you by in the corridors and smile and wave at you while crossing the street. I actually found that rather strange cause I'm not used to smiling at strange men or women or children.
(okokokOK I get it. Ppl are NOT polite all over the country, ppl are actually indifferent bordering on rude in some parts... I know, I'm aware of it, I got the memo!)
-- But what is UP with all the happiness? WHY is everyone so happy to see you? What if I do not want to smile and say Hi? What if I want to be all dour and sour? Huh?
NO DUST.
Payless Shoe Store. YaY!
I bought nearly 65% of all the organic, cruelty-free, paraben-free, phthalate-free, SLS-free personal care products that I have been researching and wanting for over 2 years! Woohoo!
Hot water. All the time.
Trees. Of every which color, esp. the PURPLE ones.
Road signs, street signs, traffic signs, signs, signs, signs. How can you possibly miss a turn when they start telling you from Africa where to turn, when to turn, how many degrees the wheel needs to be to turn... :P
Everything is automated, from banks to laundromats.
Unlimited refills. Not that I got to ever got to finish the original drink.
PT Cruiser!

Was not:

Large portions of food. I couldn't finish a single meal in one sitting and at the end of my stay there was enough food in the fridge to feed a small village, not to mention the food I had to dump in trash cause seriously WHO eats that much!?
If you don't have a car, getting around is a killer.
Air fucking conditioning. I had to wear my cardigan ALL the time, which sucked cause I so wanted to not wear it while it's summer!
Small talk that ppl make when you enter a store, stand in line in a restaurant, bump in the corridors... I'm soooo not good with the small talk, apart from "Oh", "Yeah", "Uh-Huh", "Ah", "Hmm", "Ok", "I see"... I tried to look away the minute someone tried to make eye-contact with me. :|

That's about it for the Was Not's. I guess I'll have more if I visit again, or maybe not. It certainly was an expereince, the minute I stepped out of the airport into the cooooool sweetly scented drizzling night, I felt this "awareness", this "realization" that, Babes you are here, finally. After years of watching it in the movies, reading about it in the books, talking to ppl who live here, I was standing on American soil... such a pivotal occurance for a person with my perception of the world and my expectations from it.

5 quirky things about me :)

2008-03-09T16:29:00.002+05:30

My first Tag! I'm IT IT IT!

First, the rules:
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Here goes...

I wangle turds up. TeeHee.
I adore Paneer. I can eat it raw, I can eat a kilo of it and I have eaten it 2-3 weeks old gathering fuzz in my fridge.
I bite when I'm terribly affectionate with someone. Them, I mean. I bite THEM. Dogs included. The cat won't let me yet.
I have weird priorities about silly things (regular everyday things as well) like, if I'm buying bread or saving table-scraps to feed my stray dog(s) and if I'm not able to feed/find her/him that day and happen to spot another stray, I'll give it a tiny portion of the food and save the rest for MY stray(s).
I worry. Non-stop.
I'm addicted to Lip Balms. My favorite brand is Avon (it has SUGGAH!) and Burt's Bees. I apply it even if I wake up in the middle of the night to pee.

Hmmmm... I actually have no one to tag, so...

Assholes Zameen Par

2008-01-03T14:49:00.001+05:30

I can recognize humor rather quickly in most situations... and have healthy appreciation for it as well. Even if I do not share it. But some times cracking jokes on subject matters, that do not necessarily demand it, is just bloody BAD taste!

Gay over/under-tones, pedophilia, incestuous caresses... that's what a couple of individuals opinions (read crass humor) are on IMDB for Taare Zameen Par. The whole; teacher lustily hugging the student, eyeing him with desire, stalking him all over the school... ick. Really. ICK. I get it, you have an objective view of the movie, stick to that. Rip apart the acting, how the subject matter was handled, the research or lack of it, the direction... have a field day. But GAY under-tones!? Even with prevalent abject homophobia running rabid in most of the straight men, finding gay-over or undertones in a movie like this is fucked up. That's no longer funny. Men who hold hands while crossing the street can be funny, men who walk with their buddies with their arms around each others shoulders or men sitting a tad too close sharing a pint of beer perhaps demand a bit of sniggering (if you insist i.e.), but a teacher-student relationship, or for that matter any relationship where there's bonding and affection and love... is NOT gay or pedophilia or incestuous. And if you think so, albeit with a bitty of ha-ha, then that's just you being a total ass-wipe.

Going through some of the posts in the IMDB board, I was quite upset that a few ppl just faffed over the actual point (disregarding for a moment that it was a tad overdone and a tad underdone) and found time and reasons enough to focus on the WHY Amir really really needs to hug a child he was trying to help. Really? Are we that screwed up as a society that now any elder hugging a child or seeking him out of concern is reason enough to brand him a pedophile? How can that be funny? Has pedophilia become so commercial *snort* that ppl can use it as brunts of their jokes? Is child-abuse so cosmetic that anyone can slap that on and giggle about it?

Turns my stomach.

Roadie Foodie

2007-12-13T15:01:00.004+05:30

What is it about the road side food that would make you abandon your hygienically cooked and packed homemade lunch for adulterated masalas, cheap cooking oil and questionable fingers?

Just ate a yummilicious portion of Channa Kulcha from a roadside vendor. My absolute favorite roadie foodie, I think I ODed on it way back in college, and still I stop and buy a plate if I spot the large brass handi on the back of a cycle. My second absolute favorite roadie foodie is Aloo Tikki. I luuuurrrvvvveeee alooooo, I can devour boiled potatoes faster than you can say ubla-aloo and happily die of glutinous choking, I kid you not! Take boiled potatoes and fry them in oil... ooooh *shivers* such unhealthy desires canNOT be good fer moi. I make yummilicious bread-rolls (yes I have documented, recorded testimonial... though it cannot be shared with the public yet) stuffed with potatoes and cheese, deep fried and generously doused with sriracha sauce. Bliss.

I have lots of absolute favorite roadie foodies, but while I'm typing this out, a very special one is tugging my memory, pleading to be acknowledged. The humble Sundal, served with pulip-maangaa... ayyomaa... LOVE it. I can taste it right now, walking on the beach, the rogue crows cawing out warnings as they swoop down and pinch morsels off your hand, the waves surging in and out, spraying my face with salty shivers, the scent of the damp newspaper cone the lad wraps my sundal in, chewing slowly savoring the pebbly texture of the lentil and the tarty bite of the mango... miss you so much.

Ohhhh wait. How did I forget VADA PAV!!! Man, I bullied Shool into carrying a serving for me in his cabin baggage when he came down from Bom to Del. HeeHee. I went CRAZEE, dying to taste it last year, looking it up on youtube videos, pretending I could taste the yeasty pav and the hot corriander sauce. *slurppp* I, of course, threw the vada stuffing cause I have weird issues about stuffings and whats acceptable for my mouth, and ate just the crispy batter skin.

Many a times have forced Navinji to eat my insipid lunch while I ordered something heavily drenched in chilly and oil. But with progressing age, my cast iron stomach is rusting. Not a pretty feeling next morning, no siree. :P

Monsters

2007-12-11T13:06:00.001+05:30

I was cruising a "green" site, looking for organic products and if I can have them shipped here and I spotted this picture of a dog that appeared to have no forelegs with a caption, "If this was your dog, how much would you pay to save her?". I assumed it was for her operation or something so I clicked on it.

I so wish I had not. And I am so fucking mad that WE ARE SO FUCKING SCREWED UP THAT WE NEED TO TORTURE LIL ANIMALS FOR FUCKING WHAT!???? That dog had her forelegs twisted back and tied behind her back, with a rusted tin can shoved over her muzzle, hung by her hind legs and would whimper in unimaginable pain till she would be slaughtered cruelly for her meat and sold to the illegal dog meat trade in Korea.

I haven't been able to sleep or eat since yesterday and I'm left with such rage and pain that I don't know what to do with. No amount of petitions and donations are going to be enough to educate these fucking barbarians that you do NOT need to torture these animals to eat them. Why the fuck can't they just kill them and be done with it, WHY THE FUCK do you have to come up with these sickening methods to torture and hurt these unfortunate animals.

I'm against killing for meat, not because I think eating meat is wrong. It's not, eat and stuff yourself silly but pls be MODERATE in your quantity and pls be HUMANE with your methods of slaughter. Is that really too much to ask? Apparently it is. We humans do not know how to live till we have fucking maimed, bled, bludgeoned, raped and tortured another living being who cannot defend itself against our depravity. I admit it hits me harder cause it was a dog. But I have given up meat, cause even though I love dogs and I do not necessarily love chickens, I still cannot stand the fact that a chicken is stuffed in tiny cages with 10 other chickens and they are given literally shit to eat or drink, kept in that tiny cage for life till it is ready to be slaughtered. How can you eat that? How can you stuff your face with that and go Ohhh! yummy Chicken Tikkas!? HOW?

Everytime this topic comes up with friends and family and they all go... you cannot change the world, you cannot always take care of these things, you cannot convince everyone, whoever wants to eat will eat regardless... hmmmm I do agree, I cannot change the world, I cannot change my own friends and family how can I expect to change the world... BUT I can change myself cause I have the power over my will and I can control that. And hope that by example I can influence someone else to change as well. I hope that someone would care enough to go and find out where you can buy free-range chicken from, where you can buy organic eggs and milk from, the butcher you buy mutton and keema from is licensed and practices the humane method of slaughter and if he doesn't you'd care enough to report him.Since I'm on a roll, I'm hoping that someone would care enough not just about themselves BUT for the earth as well and buy cruelty-free vegan personal products so that we reduce the chemical footprint on mother nature and its inhabitants.

I also got to thinking, that given the opportunity we'd soon start eating lil human babies (some parts of this world already do eat fetuses) and start seeing yummy human tikkas on our menus. Cause we eat everything else you can imagine. With the abundance of chicken and goat you'd think we don't need to kill dogs and cats, but hey! why not... meat is meat right? How does it matter that for me I keep your delicacy as a pet and shower love and affection on it and you torture it before killing it?

Matters to me though, but its not enough. I do not have an army, or mountains of money to buy an army or a government to put an end to this turpitude. I sign petitions and speak up on forums and I try and educate others... but it's NOT enough cause it's just me and there are too many of you out there. Too many of you who don't give a shit, who cannot be bothered with chickens and goats and dogs, too many of you who have way too many excuses. Do even half of you and the other half of who you know, know how that the shampoo you love from L'Oreal/Clinique etc was tested on a rabbit? How they pumped its stomach full with it and watched it suffer over a period of days so that YOU could pretend your shiny hair is equivalent to a halo?

Sickens me. My heart bleeds for that dog, who is probably dead by know and thousands like her will die before I'm done posting this. But the world will not change, the world will not look for free-range chickens, the world cannot bother itself to feed a cow well and let her nurse her young before you milk her to death to feed millions of monsters, the world doesn't give 2 hoots for the cat that's hung on a peg and skinned alive for his fur, the world will continue to poach and wipe species out, the world thinks going organic and cruelty-free is too much hassle, the world stinks.

Whatever

2007-12-02T12:38:00.002+05:30

Weirdly enough I wanted another journal. Go figure.