Silver Linings

Cher did something last night that just amazed me. No, she did not cook me a fancy dinner. But it was equally amazing.

It was bedtime and I called her over to come follow me to the room, when I reached the room I, out of habit, closed the door behind me, forgetting for a moment that Cher was following me. Before I could turn around to open the door, it opened. The lil miss had ambled over to the door, bumped her nosed on it and figured it was closed, so she stood up on her hind legs and pushed it open with her lil itty bitty fore paws!! AWWWWWWWWman it was ever so cute. And amazing. I know she's blind and not stupid, but still.

The D-Day is approaching. Over the weekend I shift. I have managed to arrange for the advance rent and 2 months security somehow from my own resources. I'm still about some short, but I think I'll manage for now. *phew* There's this THING hanging over my head that just will not let me relax. There's a lot going on in the office and it's driving me insane. Plus the house shifting and my natural tendencies to launch into panic attacks because any major change in my life will completely unhinge me, has not been fun. I hate setting up house. Hate the whole 2-3 weeks it takes to settle in a new home. I like things to be SET already when I get there. *sigh* I shouldn't complain. But I'm still going to. GAH!

And then I fell off the cyclerick yesterday. Which was NOT FUN! Just banged my shoulder, trying to save the laptop. The upside was that the cyclerick wala dropped me all the way to the office and I didn't have to switch cyclericks after the crossing.

It's all about the sliver linings I tell you. :P

Buri Nazar Wale...

... tera fucking face kala!!

GRRRR.

So goddamn pissed right now. The fucking landlord refuses to waive off the 10% renewal increase on the rent. Fucking greedy pig, I hope a thousand fleas nest in your armpits till kingdom come!

I knew it was too good to be true and I knew something will jinx it sooner than later. I fucking hate the entire fucking world right now.

***
Update- 8:09 PM

Hmmmm. So. After many discussions and advices and lectures and one coax, I called the landlord up and agreed to his terms. *sigh* I just want to be done with this and move on to the next issue on my list. I hope things look brighter once I move.

House Hunting

House hunting sucks ass.

I was all excited about the prospect of moving house, day dreaming about how things will be this way and that way in the new place, how I'll do it up with this and that, blah blah blah... Just the hunting part has soured my mood so much that I'm no longer excited about anything. The rent rates are friggin HIGH, the rooms are friggin SMALL and Landlords are a PAIN in the ASSHOLE region. I have had 2 of them tell me on phone that they will not give to single women and they want a family with kids as tenants, they then turn around and ask, "Tumne shaadi nahin ki... kab karogi?" WTF? I wanted to retort back, "Shaadi nahin ki, lekin char bacche hain, wo chalega?"

It's not like I don't get their point. Single ppl are (lets be honest) notorious for "loud music, drinking alcohol, fighting and getting into ruckuses, walking about in knickers (men & women both), living like yahoos, messing up the place, friends dropping in at odd hours, too many opp. gender friends living in, yada yada yada" I. GET. IT. But it's still unfair. Not all of us are yahoos who spit on walls and sleep on fresh newspapers instead of fresh sheets. Some of us are really swell about keeping the place clean and will only have the steady come live them them for a couple of weeks. :P

And it's not like married ppl WITH effing kids don't create issues. But what gets me all riled up is the "respectability" factor firmly attached to married ppl. Are married ppl just by the fact that they are MARRIED, respectable? Don't married ppl walk about in knickers? Don't their kids gleefully scribble with crayons and finger-paint on walls? Don't married ppl play loud music? Don't "respectable" married ppl drink alcohol and beat their wives? How is it that all these are acceptable or ignored by these "pious" landlords? Effing double standards!

I have finalized on a place. Spoke to the landlord and yes, he did ask me the golden question, "What are your future plans? When do you intend to get married?" GRRR. I bore it with good grace, the apartment is worth that much at least! And it is a rather nice place esp. considering all the options I have seen so far, even tho it has teeny-tiny balconies. Expensive no doubt, but looking at some of the benefits it has I'm keen to snatch it asap. I'm more than a bitty apprehensive about the chikchik I might have to suffer cause I have a dog or if my heels make too much noise clacking in the corridors, not to mention if I have *ahem* male friend(s) drop by... *sigh* but I shall bear that as well with good grace (GAWD! I hope!!)

Lets be positive; since I already have suffered a lecture just last night for being negative, and hope for the best.

Walk a mile in his... feet

I take a cycle rick to the Railway Crossing, and after crossing the tracks take another cycle rick to where the office is. From my house to the crossing and there on is the "back" route, where the roads (as previously ranted about) are HELL! and 80% of the time after the Railway Crossing the cyclerick walas on the other end refuse to take the back route leading up to the office. The "road" is so bad that they flat out start whining and weeping like chokri's how bad it is and I'm left with the option to either walk to the main road and flag a cyclerick down or just... walk the entire way to work.

NOT FUN.
GRRRRRR!

Now there are a couple of cyclerick walas who do not whine and are keen to make 15-20 bucks. If I'm lucky (which I'm not) I'll get one of these guys and they'll happily take me to office. This morning I was lucky! It had rained last night and at dawn, and the "road" was beyond icky, it was just this gooey mess of mud and sewage, churned to a glistening consistency by trucks and bullock carts. While I sat high above the ground only forced to deal with the bone jarring bumps and the noxious smell, the cyclerick wala has to jump on and off the cycle and drag the vehicle in order to maneuver through it all and I know most of these guys do NOT want to bother with this exertion or cannot (lets be kind) and step into the gooey mess and get their feet dirty but this guy was UNFAZED. He not only jumps right in but takes his chappals off!!

So, off we go, with my cyclerick wala walking BARE FEET in this unholy mess! I was shocked, amazed and humbled. This guy just wanted to make a living and he is ready to go to lengths to make that possible cause quite obviously he does not have a choice. I'll be off from here in a few weeks time, off to better roads but he'll be here, working these very roads. The thought of stepping into that pool of infections and diseases is close to unthinkable for me, and even if I did, I'll be scrubbing me feet till kingdom come and go see a doctor to rule out any worm infestations etc. But not this guy. This guy will probably get to wash his feet, if at all, late that night or next morning and I know he cannot afford a quack, much less a doctor. He probably does not know what teems in this squelchy mess and how dangerous some of these infestations are.

Reality check.

Yip. I have it good. way too good, even if I have to walk to work and complain about the heat and dust and how much I hate this place, I have it good.

Feet, I salute thee!

Malai Kofta

A staff member at work today wanted to go home a tad bitty early; it was her brothers B'day and she was making Malai Koftas for him.

Hmmmmmmm.

Past few weeks ago I read in Nids bloggie that she'd made these yummilicious koftas WITH pictures posted to torture me of course.

Apparently it's not rocket science that goes into creating this magical dish. Feeling extremely adventurous, not to mention that the visions of creamy kofta gravy was driving me literally insane, I decided to try my hand at making them.

Popped out both Sanjeev Kapoors recipe book and the prep method on Nids bloggie, just so I'm both inspired and I don't make any goof ups mixing this instead of that. Supposed to take under an hour to get these puppies ready, and it took me close to 3! TeeHee! I felt like I was making explosives, handling the uncooked koftas as if they will explode in my hands, splattering the grated paneer filling all over me poor face. Carefully and very very slowly I managed to make 12 dumplings and fried them one by one. Oooooooo! They looked yummy and I almost chucked the gravy part, just wanted to bite into these and be done with it.

Next, the gravy was easy peasy... actually not, I always screw up the gravy. Somehow I still don't know how to get that smooth texture in the end instead of the lumpy, gritty texture I'm left with no matter how long I cook the damn thing. I variated a bitty and instead of adding the tomato puree to the fried onion puree, I added the masalas to the fried onion puree and broiled the entire mess till it turned a nice toasted shade of brown. To that I added the tomato puree and hmmmmm I admit it did look quite close to how gravies outta look. I let it boil close to 15 minutes and gobbled 2 koftas in the interim... could not resist. :P

Finally when the gravy looked "done" I switched off the gas and added the cream. Voila! Somehow I had managed to not fuck the entire thing up and it looked close to what I order from restaurants. I dropped the fried dumplings into the gravy and spooned the gravy over the puppies a bitty. So happy and hungry that I quickly ladled up a portion of it onto my plate and stood at the kitchen counter itself and ate it all. TeeHee!

It was definitely spicy (I have a generous hand when it comes to measuring out the chilly powder) and I think next time I'll try HARD to tone down the chilly factor and make it a tad bitty more bland. It was definitely rich, cause after one kofta I was like *BURP!* and forced myself to somehow finish the other one. So happy with myself, I never imagined I could make this dish at home and never imagined that it would actually taste good. *pats back*

Caught

I had gone grocery shopping (an errand I absolutely luuurrrvvveee!) this evening and while I was having all the fun piling stuff in my cart, it started to rain. Unfazed, thinking it must be a drizzle cause it certainly didn't look like it would rain when I'd walked to the market, I hopity-hopped between the aisles.

After paying for the purchases and requesting the shop-boys to get the goods delivered to my apartment, I walked out the corridor completely unprepared for the downpour. JFC! It was raining bathtubs! Now I'm not the sort at all who likes or lets just say "tolerates" getting wet in the rain. The whole prospect of wet clingy clothes, dripping hair, squelching feet is NOT my idea of fun. Ick.

Stranded I decided to wait it out with few other shoppers who too were caught unprepared for this downpour. It was ok while there were these 2 other ladies with me, the local asswipes kept a suitable distance. Pretty soon, ones husband come to pick her up and the other flagged down a cyclerick. Yippee for me. Like bees to honey (and I'm NOT flattering myself here) the doucebags gleefully gravitated to where I stood, trying hard to blend in with the poster on the wall depicting some cartoon character happily munching on corn-flakes. Not successful.

Fine. I get it. In their retarded gnat-sized brains the whole "girl stranded in the rain" evokes orgasmic visual malfunctions. WooHoo for you. BooHoo for me. Stinking sweating men, drenched in their pathetic excuse of "masculinity" and the rain, swearing, smoking and excitedly scratching their balls as they guffawed, leered and made really gag-worthy comments, I fantasized about un-taping one of the electrical wires hanging near the signboard and just oh so casually letting it fall near where they stood in inch deep water. Ohh the absolute joy of watching them dance the happy gay dance of electrocution. *sigh* Fried hair and popping eyeballs... if wishes were horses!

After about an hour (it was 9pm by then) of fantasizing and working on that thick skin I have been trying to build for 2 years now, I decided to risk the ickyness and brave the rain. I set off, hunched and walking as fast as my lil legs could carry me, ignoring the color and questionable properties of the waters flooding the the streets. I turn right for my street and it's pitch black with just the faint glow from windows of houses, barely letting me see cause it was raining so hard. I trudge on, unknowing that which lay before me was a veritable "talaab" reaching up to my knees!!! I was suddenly caught in this terrifying pool of gushing water, the rain beating down on my head, can't see for shit... one of my favorite nightmares come true.

Panic, doesn't even begin to describe what exploded in my heart, raced through my veins, hitching my lungs shut and rendered my limbs numb. I haven't had the drowning nightmares in years. And here I was living it. Again. I swear I saw spots dancing in front of eyes, just how it used to when I'd have an panic induced asthma attack. No. That's NOT where we are going now are we trooper? Uh-Huh. I'm thankful for my sheer grit that I didn't completely lose my head and talked my myself into moving my legs, one at a time, telling myself that it's real not a dream, there's nothing in the water making it's way towards me, the lil bumps and nudges I feel against my legs are just twigs and trash, I can breathe, one puff in and one puff out, I have full control and I can walk out of this. Inching forward I used the cars parked on the sides to feel my way out to the bend and into another street. The water level was up to my shins here and manageable. There were no cars parked here, so stumbled around a bit and came to the other bend. The water was only ankle-deep, and I could see my gate further ahead, relief flooding through me. I literally ran home, feeling a lil stupid at my panic attack and how childishly I lost control of my faculties, yet quivering happily to be where there was light and the comfort of my home.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me. Years back I was caught in another downpour, with no ride home and decided to head out, foolishly believing that I possessed the gumption to tackle deserted roads and pouring rain on me own. Not. I must have fallen close to 3-5 times that night, stumbling around in the flooded streets, tripping into pot-holes, breath wheezing through constricted capillaries, desperately convincing myself that the water I was floundering in wasn't teeming with creepy-crawlies. I manage to make my way to a local market, stranded in front of a sole dingy pan-wala at 10:00pm, drenched and scared shitless cause all I encountered there too were just these asswipes, making me realize how ineffective my gender really is. I had made so many calls that night, requesting from friends to family to come pick me up, getting all sorts of excuses why they can't, and finally I got through to my cuz who actually could. While I waited for her to get done with work and come get me, I stood outside a fast-food joint, weeping my heart out, sucking on my inhaler, hoping I don't pass out. She finally arrives, shocked to see the state I'm in, blubbering like a hysterical baby, so happy to see a familiar face. Dropping me home, my Mom is even more shocked cause I was running 104 fever by then, a lil... ok a lot outta my mind, blabbing stuff that made no sense to her, clinging to her and crying like the world was ending.

Hmmmm. How did this get so long?

I don't hate the rain. As long as I'm indoors and/or with company. I actually love stormy weather, love lightning and thunder claps, static making my hair dance. Love the emotions cloudy weather evokes in my heart, tempting me to take flying leaps off windows and balconies. But the actual presence of water and darkness are too close to a dream I have had since I was child, that I have worked hard to beat it to the back of oblivion, never to rear it's ugly head again.

Zen Master

I have got to document what my Zen Master spews forth on random occasions, esp. when he is waiting for me to reply to his pokes.

Without further ado;

Me :

- it takes a nano second for me to be plumetted into the depts of depression
- unpredictabiliyt like that just is not fun to deal with
- lus my typos really mess things upo
- gah

Zen Master :

- but without those typos, you wouldn't be you
- I'd worry that cybernetic beings from the future had stolen your brain and replaced it with some kind of genetically engineered super hamster

TeeHee! Brillianto!

Me :

- it's 5:45pm

Zen Master :

- I always picture you slaving away at your desk or whatever it is that you happen to sit at, at all sorts of times of the day and night, and even, sometimes, times that don't even exist in the normal day-to-day workings of the universe...it's like, you slip outside of time for a bit, and sit and work in some place, some frosty place with ice which has a slightly purple tinge to it
- by which I mean...ah...5:45...I see

Lets See

Alrighty, so Snow is peeved off that he has to now share attention with Cher and he hisses and slaps her around annoyed at having to put up with her. I had to spank his lil tush the other night for slapping Cher bang on her lil noggin and scaring the bejesus outta her, lil pottysingh! Totally regretted it when he slunk behind the laundry bag and looked up at me woefully. Awwwman. He looks so goddamn cute even when he's being a meanie. I'm trying to let him know that he has to accommodate Cher while she's with us. It's not working, of course.

Cher on the other hand is learning her way around the house quite well, no more banging against furnitures and walls... well not so much anyhoos. When I take her for her walk, she LOVES it, gets all excited and wags her lil itty-bitty tail and when we go down the stairs my heart just fair breaks at her fumbling attempts to get down the stairs. She's a brave lil lady, just needs a lotta coaxing and encouragement and she's managed to go down 2 flights unassisted. But I think she finds the entire 4 flights really hard to figure out, so she'll just sit, look abouts to where I am standing and wag her itty-bitty tail as if asking PUHLEASE pick me na! I'll carry her down and on the street she's off like a lil happy rocket.

She poops just fine and is good at walking behind/beside me, her lil nosie at times bumping against my leg when I slow down. I have had ppl stop twice and tell me "how kewwwwt!!"and ask me what breed she is, I guess she looks a lil funny with her fur all chopped up. On the way back up the stairs she has no issues climbing, but she does get tired before we get to our floor. I'm giving her 2 meals and she licks her bowl clean, when I lift her I can feel difference from the day I got her to how she weighs now. Neat progress. Her infections are all dried up and flaking off, a rather icky prospect to deal with cause she now wants to sleep with me on the bed. I let her, of course. :P Love the way she romps about on the bed pleading for belly-rubs, tho at 4:00am I'm pleading with her to lie still and SLEEP!

N predicts that I'll end up keeping her. That thought crosses my mind at least 30 million times in a day :D, and I start off with all the reasons how I can and how I cannot. :( She reminds me of Sweetie so much, not that she's anything like Sweetie, but even Da was all like, it's like Sweetie is back with you. Hmmmmmm.

"Let see", said the Zen Master.